ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"that is an insult that cannot be borne! I demand satisfaction!"

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“6yŒ´‘čzBlitzgiving

Blitz: I'm finally free! I mean, you have no idea what I've missed all these years: The university president's toupee being snatched by a hawk at graduation, Zeppelin reuniting at my cousin Ira's bar mitzvah, countless nip-slips, crotch shots, shooting stars and double rainbows. I've missed them all!

snatched ‹}‚˘‚ĹŽć‚Á‚˝

Barney: Well, not anymore, Blitz.

Blitz: My name's not Blitz. My name is Steve! Colors seem so bright now. Thank you, Blitz.

Ted: What? No! N- n-n-n-no! N-n-no! I'm not The Blitz! The only thing I missed last night was my best friends stabbing me in the back by hanging out with my worst enemy. Guys! I hate Zoey! That means you're supposed to hate her, too! Th-that's your rule, Lily!

Lily: I tried.

Ted: Tried?! Lily, do you have any idea how many people I've blindly hated for you? I hated Rene Zellweger with a burning passion for eight years, only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon!

Lily: Hey, I will hate her until I get my money back for You, Me and Dupree!

Ted: That's Kate Hudson!

Lily: Oh, yeah. That's who I hate. Guys, we hate Kate Hudson.

Ted: No, we hate Zoey! I'm so furious at you all right now, but it's Thanksgiving, and I have a Turturkeykey to make. And not that I'm The Blitz, but could everyone please come with me into the kitchen? Okay, I'm, uh, just gonna preheat the oven.

furious Œƒ“{‚ľ‚˝

Robin: The oven.

Barney: Hey, Robin, you should dance on the oven.

Everyone chanting: Dance on the oven! Dance on the oven! Dance on the oven...

Steve: Did they tell you about the skateboarding dog? It was awesome!

Ted: Great. So not only did you guys betray me, but you broke my oven on Thanksgiving?

betray — Ř‚é

Barney: Full disclosure. We also used all your butter, greasing up Lily so we could see how far we could slide her down the hall.

Full disclosure ‘S–ĘŠJŽŚ

Lily: But if it helps, I reached 4G.

Ted: It doesn't help. 4G? No. What-What are we supposed to do now?

Steve: This is awesome! I'm part of this!

Ted: Barney, I don't know if the oven is deep enough. Plus, it's a display made of cardboard.

Barney: Huh. I should probably disconnect the gas.

Marshall: Hey, just so you guys know, there was a tiny explosion at the sewage treatment plant across the street from our apartment, but I'm sure it's fine by now.

sewage ‰ş…

Steve: This is awesome!

Ted: It's not awesome!

Robin: I think the smaller turkey just tried to crawl further inside the bigger turkey.

Barney: Um... Um... I'm have... I'm having trouble breathing!

Steve: Mom keeps an extra litter box in here. There you go. Good as new. Oh. Hey, Ginger.

Lily: Ted, you're not gonna like this, but we do have one other option.

Zoey: Hey, you guys should come to my house for Thanksgiving. My husband always spends it with his daughter, so I'm going to be alone anyway.

Lily: Could we bring Ted?

Zoey: It's Thanksgiving. What the hell?

Ted: No. Absolutely not.

Lily: Come on. Give her a chance.

Robin: Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey. Don't let that be in vain.

vain –ł‘Ę

Marshall: Guys? Wait a minute. Where's Barney?

Barney: And here's the twist, Babaka. Because Ted left early, he's now The Blitz.

Babaka: But Barney, now you left the group. Wouldn't that put you in danger of becoming The Blitz yourself?

Barney: No. I c... Because... Step on it.

Marshall: You missed it.

Steve: Oh, my goodness. Our cab took a wrong turn. We were in the Thanksgiving Day parade!

Robin: Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike and he sang "Twist and Shout!"

Barney: But he's The Blitz.

Ted: No. I'm not The Blitz. I'm The Bueller. You know what this means. You're The Blitz.

Mysterious voice: Blitz...

Barney: Oh, God, no!

Marshall: Life moves pretty fast, Barney. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.

Ted: Chicka-chicka!

Zoey: Happy Thanksgiving! Ted.

Ted: Zoey.

Lily: Best friend alert!

Ted: Okay, the Turturkeykey is officially cooking.

Marshall: Oh, God, that is disgusting!

Ted: Okay, guys, that's starting to hurt.

Marshall: No... no, Ted. Random number guy just sent me his wang back.

Robin: Wow. You sent a wang out, and you got a wang back.

Lily: It's a boom-a-wang.

Robin: Nice.

Lily: Thank you.

Robin: No, I meant the wang.

Zoey: Barney, could you get me some more ice?

Barney: Sure. But... no one move while I'm gone. I'm scared.

Steve: You're safe. It's okay to leave the room. You have to actually leave the building for something cool to happen.

Barney: Thanks. You're the only one who's nice to me about this.

Steve: Okay, I got to test this.

Barney: What happened?

Lily: You missed it!

Marshall: Dude, you walked out of the room, the laws of physics stopped and the laws of awesome tripled.

Barney: Aw, man! You said I could leave the room!

Steve: I just wanted to see something cool happen. I'm sorry. But I was on that island for what seems like eternity. I'm going to enjoy things on the other side.

Barney: No! Y-You... Robin, Robin. I will pay you to be The Blitz. $100! No-- $10,000. No-- 60 bucks. That's a lot of money for someone like you.

Marshall: Dude, The Blitz isn't something that can be bought or sold.

Zoey: Yeah, it's not like Ted's integrity.

integrity ˝ŽŔ

Ted: Oh, what was that? I was distracted by the four-caret diamond your 53-year-old husband bought you.

Steve: Facial!

Ted: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a turturkeykey to baste.

Zoey: I'm coming with you.

Ted: No... I baste alone.

Zoey: Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted.

Steve: Word play. Loving it.

Zoey: But relax. I've got a ton of sides to heat up since my plans fell through.

Ted: Who canceled? Your coven?

coven –‚—‚̏W‚Ü‚č

Steve: Coven. Group of witches.

Zoey: Yeah. They were worn out from putting that spell on your hair.

Steve: Oh! Serve returned.

Ted: Are you happy? You're ruining Thanksgiving.

Zoey: Well, you're not exactly who I thought I'd be spending Thanksgiving with, either.

Steve: God, I'm so happy to be here. My face hurts from smiling.

Žô‚˘ —F’B

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