Narator: Now let's talk about the Barney part of the story.
Narator: This was going to be Robin's first time meeting my parents, so we were both a little nervous.
Ted: Barney, what are you doing here?
Barney: Uh... I'm here to meet your parents. They must be dying to meet me after all the legendary Barney stories you've told them.
Ted: I haven't told them any legendary Barney stories.
Ted: Barney, here is a list of all the things I talk with my dad about baseball.
Barney: But I'm your best friend.
Ted: Well, actually Marshall's my...
Barney: I'm the most important person in your life.
Ted: Well, Robin's actually...
Barney: How could your parents not know about me? I'm delightful.
Robin: To us, sure, in very small, infrequent doses. I mean, come on, you're not exactly the kind of friend parents want their kid to have.
Barney: Oh, really? Then I guess those shoes aren't the thing you're most wrong about today.
Ted: Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
Ted's father: Ted.
Ted: I know you've all been excited to meet...
Barney: Barney Stinson. An honor to meet the two of you. That needlepoint "Bless This Mess" pillow you made for Ted - what a stitch. Stitch! Did that just happen?
Ted: Uh, Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Robin.
Ted's father: Hello.
Ted's mother: Oh, it's wonderful to meet you, Robin. Oh, you are so pretty. Isn't she pretty, Al?
Ted's father: A real looker.
Robin: That's funny, I didn't even "look" in the mirror today. That's not anything, is it? So, I made a reservation at San Marino tonight for 8:00.
Barney: San Marino! Oh, you're serious? Yikes. No. We have to try Casa A Pezzi. Best salmon risotto I have ever had.
Ted's mother: I love salmon risotto.
Barney: I know.
Robin: How are we supposed to get a table at Casa A Pezzi? They're booked for weeks.
Barney: Well, lucky for you, I happen to know the head waitress, which is ironic because...
Ted: Stop it! Don't, don't!
Barney: Ironic because we both work at a homeless shelter where I serve the food. Where do you volunteer, Robin?
Robin: What's the matter with you? I'm his girlfriend, and I'm not even trying that hard. Way to wreck the curve, kiss-ass.
Way to wreck the curve =That's a fine way to make things harder for the rest of us, Kick-ass.
Barney: Robin, I'm his best friend. That's a commitment. Girlfriend? That's like a bad flu. Out of your system after a couple weeks in bed. High five!
Ted's mother: Can I help?
Barney: Yes, you can, Virginia. There's a story behind that broach, and I'm going to hear it.
Ted's mother: Well, funny you should ask...
Ted's father: Whoa! Bravo, Barney. Oh, oh oh!
Ted's mother: That is my all-time favorite sonata.Barney, you are just delightful.
Barney: No, Virginia, you're delightful, I am deligh-ted. And he's just Ted. I'm really not planning these things; they just keep happening.
Lily: Whoops. I think I dropped an ice cube down here. Ow, it's so cold.
Marshall: All right, that's it, I'm out of here.
I'm out of here もう行かなくちゃ
Barney: Anyone up for a drink at MacLaren's?
up for 〜したい 〜に乗り気で
Robin: No, I'm kind of tired.
Lily: Me, too.
Ted: Yeah, I'm sure my folks are gonna want...
Ted's father: I feel like I could knock back a few cervezas.
knock back がぶ飲みする cerveza スペイン語のビール
Ted: Cervezas? Did he fall?
Ted's mother: I'd join you, too, but I want to get up early for Mass tomorrow.
Barney: St. Peter's, 8:45 a.m., it's my favorite service.
Ted: Wait a minute. You're able to cross the threshold of a church?
Barney: I'll save you a seat.
Ted's mother: Oh, you are just terrific. Isn't he, Susan?
Barney: Susan, her name is Virginia.
Barney: Dude, I am sincerely ticked at your dad right now.
sincerely 心から ticked at 〜について腹を立てている
Barney: Last night, we go to MacLaren's for a drink, right?
Ted's father: So Barney darts back into the burning house, lifts up the refrigerator I'm pinned under and pulls me to safety.
Girl: Wow. You're like a hero.
Barney: Oh, I'm no hero, Wendy. You know who is a hero? My Dalmatian, Smokey. He... didn't... make it out. I'm sorry.
Girl: You poor, brave man.
Ted's father: Why don't you give the guy a hug?
Barney: I'm... oh.
Ted: My dad was your wingman? This is really messing with my head. Barney, is... Is my dad cool?
Barney: I'm not done. So, your dad stays to finish his drink, but I take off because I have to be up early for Mass with your mom.
Barney: Anyway, I realize that I left my phone on the bar, so I come back...
Ted: Oh, my God! Is that really...? Oh, my God!
Barney: I know. Can you believe your dad rack-jacked me like that?
rack-jacked =When you are flirting up a shawty and then a douche bag comes up and prevents you from motor boating her rack. Also a synonym for cock blocked.
Ted: My dad made out with Wendy the waitress? He cheated on my mom? No, that's impossible.
make out with といちゃつく
Barney: Ted, it's a well-known statistic that 83% of people married longer than six months are seeing someone on the side.
Ted: Do you know that when you make up a statistic, you always use "83%"?
Barney: You think I'm lying. Well, have you done any surveys on the subject? Because the good people at www.swingers.open-marriage-is-natural-legalize-polygamy.org have, and they beg to differ.
Ted: That's not a real Web site.
Barney: Oh, and I suppose I didn't get a real T-shirt for running in their 10K.
Ted: Hi, Dad.
Ted's father: Hey, Ted. Barney!
Ted: Enjoying your vacation so far?
Ted's father: Oh, yeah.
Ted: Uh, listen, can I speak to you outside for a sec?
Ted's father: Sure.
Ted: So you went out with Barney last night?
Ted's father: Yeah.
Ted: You have a good time?
Ted's father: Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry you couldn't join us.
Ted: Yeah. So...
Ted's father: What?
Ted's father: Well what?
Ted: You think Cerrano's got a shot at the RBI title?
You think Cerrano's got a shot at the RBI title? =It means Cerrano has a reasonable chance to win the RBI title.
Ted: I wanted to confront him, but I couldn't. I guess I got the let's-not-talk-about-anything-uncomfortable gene
Barney: Well, you didn't get your dad's close-the-deal gene, that's for sure.
that's for sure 確かにそうだ
The waitress: Smile!
Robin: I don't care how unpleasant it is. You have to talk to him.
Ted's mother: Not now.
Robin: Okay, if you don't, I will.
Ted's mother: Robin...!