妊娠
海外ドラマで英語リスニング学習中
Kids, have I ever told you the story of how I met your father? Well, I'll just skip ahead to the moment I told him I was pregnant.
W What happened? Did I pass out?
Not exactly.
I'm pregnant.
Are you sure you're not just getting fat?
Oh, yeah.So, um, you're pregnant.
Yeah.
Huh.Looks like nobody told your boobs.
What happened? Did I pass out?
Oh, my
Please stop hitting me! Hey.Are Are you sure you're
Well, no, not positive.I'm a week late.But I'm never late; it's a point of pride with me.I'm going to go see the doctor on Monday to find out for sure.Until then, not a word of this to anyone.
Not even Kevin? I mean, it's probably his.I've spent years training my boys to swim the other way.
Kevin and I haven't had sex yet.If I'm pregnant, you're the dad.
That's wonderful!
Huh?
I'm gonna be a daddy!
Okay, one scotch for me, one iced tea on the rocks glass for Mommy.
Stop it.
Sorry, sorry.Oop, I think I gave you the wrong one.Here, let me just Give it to me.Drop let go.Take it away from you.
Barney, why are you so happy about this?
Because this is perfect.I want to be a dad.
This is not good news.I have a boyfriend.
Yeah, but if Kevin weren't around
It doesn't matter! I don't want kids.I've never wanted kids, and never, in a million years, will I ever want kids.
Sorry, kids.
I can't have a baby.
Hey, guys! Guess what this is!
One of your socks? Boom! You're huge.
No, it's our unborn son's Christmas stocking.Grandma Gunderson started knitting it the day Lily and I got married.She died before she could finish.
knit 編む
I miss stockings.My stepdad Clint made us get rid of anything that reminds him of the commercialization of Christmas.
I thought you said he dresses up as Santa.
Yeah, but, uh, to protest gender stereotypes, he plays Santa as a woman.Though, he keeps the beard.The result is disturbing.
Well, we should go.We have to get to We B Babies so that we can register for our shower.
No can do.Um, I have a big project that I'm working on.This is Richard Holdman's house in East Meadow.Last year, he had the most visited Christmas display in the tri-state area.But not this year.You know why? Because Big Fudge has come to town, and he brought his two friends: Mannim Steamroller.Game on.
Are you okay?
Yeah.Uh, it's just, um I hate Mannheim Steamroller.Isn't there anyone else you can use?
Come on! Who am I gonna use if not the Steamroller?!
I don't know.AC/DC?
AC/DC? Robin, do you have any idea why they call them Mannheim Steamroller? Because they rock so hard, so festively, that steam comes out of your brain.As it melts.
So I have to go to We B Babies by myself?
Robin and I will go with you.
Barney, what are we doing here?
I want to show you that having a kid is nothing to be afraid of.
Kids.Stop.
Okay, first on the registry: nipple butter.
Uh-oh.
As you breast-feed, your nipples stretch out, like, four inches and get all dry and cracked.The nipple butter stops the bleeding.
My four-inch nipples are going to crack and bleed?!
Yes, but while the baby is gnawing on your bleeding nips, look what she'll be wearing.
gnaw かじる
Insane Duane?
Barney?
Insane Duane was your father's best friend, back in the days before he met me or your Uncle Ted.
We're going back to her place.
Boom! All right, you win! Here's 20 for picking up a girl with only one word.And here's another 20 for that word being boner.
Thank you.I'll meet you back here in an hour when I'm done with, uh Ah, who cares what her name is; she won't be around long enough for it to matter.
Nice!
Honny, this is my friend
Shh
I can't believe I haven't seen you around.
Well, after Sheila and I had that quickie, my life's been playdates, preschools and poops.I haven't set foot in a bar in years.
quickie 短時間のセックス
You stopped drinking?
Oh, I still drink.
Vaginal numbing spray.Apparently, after child birth, your hoo-ha looks like Rocky Balboa's face.
numbing 麻痺させる
You can't have a baby!
I can't have a baby!
The next day, we went to the doctor.
Well, Mrs.Scherbatsky, I'm sure that you and your husband
Uh, he's not my husband.
Oh, I'm so sorry.Your boyfriend then.
He's not my boyfriend.
Oh, bozhe.All right, well, I will just cut to the chase.
cut to the chase 遠回しな言い方をやめる
Wait! Wait.
All right.
Okay.
All right, we're ready.Good.Um, you: not pregnant.
Yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah!
That's what I'm talking about!
Yeah, you know, you know!
Again, sorry kids.
Hey, mister.
Are you putting up all these Christmas lights?
put up 飾る
Oh, kid, by the time I'm done, you're gonna be able to see this son of a bitch from outer space.
Ah, cool.
I wanted to put lights on our house, but my dad says he's too busy with work and stuff.
Hey, what do you say, uh, you come back here next weekend and help me out?
Yeah! You've got yourself a deal.I'm Scott.
get oneself a deal 自分勝手に思い込む
I'm Mr.Eriksen.
Thanks, Mr.E.
Mr.E.Looks like some little scamp just earned the right to put the Vikings helmet on baby Jesus.
scamp 悪党