Hey, you guys mind if I crash on your futon tonight?
crash on 〜を仮の寝床として眠る
We don't have a futon.
Put it over there, boys.
What's going on?
It's on the Murtaugh List.Crash on a friend's futon instead of getting a hotel room.
Ooh, I am too old for that stuff.
Dude, what's going on with your ear? Looks like the inside of a jack-o'-lantern on November 3rd.
What, this? Ah, just a little infecsh.Nothing a young guy like me can't shake off.Plus, Put off going to the doctor, on the list.Oh, hold on.Go for Bar
shake off 治す Put off 放棄する
Keep running! You know what's funny, is I was supposed to come here to teach them-Do not stop running! This whole time, they've been the ones who are teaching me.That's not running! That's falling!
The next morning, Barney woke up on the futon in our living room.
Drinking shots with strangers. Check.
You okay, Barney? It looks like you hurt your back.
Oh, no.Just rocking a party hunch.I like it.Closer to my booze.To youth.Can I get a straw?
I must say, there's something admirable about the way Barney wants to stay young at heart.I mean, who wants to get old?
This guy.Robin, life is a meal and old age is the dessert.I spend so much of my time worrying about the future.You know, where's my career going? Who am I gonna marry? But when you're old, you don't worry, 'cause that stuff's already happened.Plus, you get to wear comfy shoes and a chair takes you up and down the stairs, it's perfect.
That's not perfect.That's pathetic.You can't just jump to the end.The journey is the best part.
Oh, Robin.I used to feel that way, too, but you'll understand when you're a little bit older.
Marshall, can you try not to pick on the kids today.
pick on 責める
I'm not picking on the kids, Lily.I'm picking on the culture of losing around here.I-I got to get them in shape if they're gonna win that game tomorrow.
get in shape 体を鍛える
Win? We don't keep score.
We don't keep score.
You don't keep s What's the point of playing if you don't keep score? How do you know Lily, what were you doing with this team before I got here?
I was coaching them.
That's it, my little angels.You're all luminous wonderful beings of light.
What's the score?
It's all tied up at fun to fun!
Because that's the point of playing-to have fun.
No.The point of playing is to win the trophy.And if you don't know who's winning, who gets the trophy?
Everyone.It's a participation trophy; everyone gets one.
It's like you're speaking Chinese to me right now.
Hi, this is Barney.
We can't answer the phone right now because
He's watching sports and I'm
Probably out shopping. Leave a message and we'll call you back just as soon As We Can!
Leave an annoying two-person message on your answering machine. Check.Probably gonna cost me some dates but it's okay.
Barney, your ear's starting to smell.
Nah, it's good.
I hate to send it back, but you did describe the turkey as extremely lean, and, well, you tell me.
All right.That's it. We have our own list.
This is a list of things you're too young to do.Go out and do each one of these things and then tell me you still want to be an old man.
Remove colonoscopy and Have sex with an old lady, and this is a cakewalk.
colonoscopy 結腸内視鏡検査 cakewalk 簡単なこと
New stakes, then.If I can finish your list before you finish mine, you have to come with me to TP laser tag and you have to buy the toilet paper.And none of that biodegradable crap.I want it up there forever.
Fine, but if I finish your list first, it's a six hour survey of early 20th century American architecture and you can never do anything on the Murtaugh List ever again.It's for your own good.
You, sir, have got yourself a deal.
A gentleman's agreement!
Marshall, they're in kindergarten.This isn't how you teach basketball.
Sure it is.It's the way I learned.
Are you kidding me? What kind of sociopath taught you this way?
Come on, Dad.I'm tired.
Sleep is for winners.You can go to bed when you score a basket.
Oh, let's give you two points for trying.But negative two points for having a great big head.
My father gave me no quarter and I asked for no quarter.I totally got to call that guy.Keep stretching!
Put on reading glasses. Check.Yell at neighborhood kids. My pleasure.What the hell happened to you?
Oh, I just had a very minor blew out my knee and it hurts like hell incident.
How did you blow out your knee?
We, uh, Helped someone move out of a sixth floor walk-up in exchange for pizza and beer.
in exchange 引き換えに
Or we, uh, helped someone rob a sixth floor walk-up.They were in a big hurry and left all the pictures behind.
Whatevs, it counts.Now, I am off to Dye my hair a funny color, and then we are going to, Go to a rave.
Ooh, 4:00! Supper time.
Okay.So, your dad was tough on you.That stinks, but you don't have to be like him.You can learn from his mistakes.
Mistakes? Lily, scoreboard.The guy nailed it, okay? He taught me how to be a winner.That's what I'm teaching these kids.And, for that matter, that's what I'm gonna teach our kids someday.
for that matter ついでに言うと
Okay, that's it.This is not how we're gonna raise our kids! And this is not how you're gonna coach this team! At tomorrow's game, if you are anything less than a teddy bear stuffed with cotton candy and rainbows, I will silent treatment your ass into the ground! You'll think the time I found your Internet search history was a freakin' picnic! Are we clear?!
Lily, there are many different philo
Are we clear?!
Yes, ma'am.You know, what's ironic is that now
Just call Ted.I want to go home.
All right.I'm calling him.But it's 4:30 in the morning.He's not going to be awake.
Up at 4:00 Check.
Is he answering?
I haven't dialed yet.
Oh, please hurry, Robin.
Ooh, perfect.Take forever to answer the phone.
Come on, Ted.Someone gave me some aspirin and I don't think it was aspirin.