Ted: Come on. Let's get out of here. This night's a disaster.
Barney: What?! This night couldn't have gone any better. We've just survived a mugging. You know what that means.
Ted: "Thank God, we're alive" sex.
Barney: "Thank God we're alive" sex. It's even better than "I can't believe you just proposed to me" sex, which I've only had, like, four of five times. Ted, please, we are so close.
Ted: All right. I'm in. I've never worked this hard for anything in my life.
Lindsay: Wow. I think we all need to go back to our place and recover.
Colleen: Yeah. I just want to celebrate the fact that we survived. You know?
Barney: Mmm-mm. Me too. So where do you live?
Ted: What? West village?
Colleen: Close. West Orange.
Ted: West Orange? New Jersey?
Ted: You guys live in New Jersey, not New York?
Ted: New Jersey?
Colleen: Yeah. But don't worry, it's pretty much New York.
Ted: Oh, no. Oh, no.
Barney: Oh, no.
Ted: New Jersey is not "pretty much New York". You are not "pretty much New Yorkers".
Colleen: And how would you know?
Ted: Because I live here. That's right. I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that?! Saying you're a New Yorker when you're not. Because, this is the greatest city in the world and you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland tunnel and flush yourselves back to "pretty much New York"? Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am not going to New Jersey!
Barney: You're not from Missouri? Well, I will be a monkey's unc...
Colleen: Ew. Can we get a ride?
Barney: Hey, um, sir, can we get ride, too?
Policeman: Newark, born and raised.
Robin: Can you please keep it down?
Robin #2: What happened to you, man? You said you wouldn't change, but look at you. No more tan, no more beaded braids, no more lush, untamed forest of leg and armpit hair. You're back at work. What gives?
lush 大酒飲み untamed 野生の armpit 汚い所
Robin: Well. I have to have a job.
Robin #2: "I have to have a job", God, that's so american.
Robin: I'm canadian. You know that.
Robin #2: What about the important things like making your own jewerly and lying on the beach and thinking about peace? God, don't you care about thinking about peace?
Robin: Wow. I just realized something.
Robin #2: That you've lost your way.
Robin: No, that you really suck. You're boring and lame and you're getting sand everywhere. Seriously, where is all the sand coming from? You're not the real me. All you are is me on vacation trying to get away from a break-up.
Robin #2: Don't you remember Argentina?
Robin #2: Don't you want to go back?
Robin: What are you doing?
Robin #2: Shh. Let this happen.
Robin: All right, everyone out! I said everyone out! (Robin go to her bedroom, takes her guns and returns to the living-room) (Drumming stops, panicked shouting)
All: All right, we're living, we're leaving, okay. Michael Moore was so right about americans.
Robin: I'm canadian!
Gael: Robin, are you okay?
Robin: No, I'm not. Listen, Gael, I need to talk to you about something.
Narrator: After they broke-up, Robin went back to being Robin.
Barney: Welcome home, Scherbatsky.
Robin: Oh, good to be back. Although it's weird, vacation Robin popped into my dream again last night.
pop into 〜に立ち寄る
Robin: This time we went all the way. Tell you one thing. She is maybe sandy but that chick knows what I like.
go all the way 行くところまで行く
Lily: Okay, I'm done... but I really don't want you reading this unless... you know, something happens. Can you swear to me you won't open it?
Marshall: Totally. What does it say?
Lily: Marshall, I'm serious.
Marshall: Okay. I promise I won't, I won't open that until you're dead.
Narrator: And through 22 wonderful years of marriage, Marshall kept his promise.
Narrator: Until November 1 of last year when, sadly...
Lily: "Busted! I knew you'd read this. You suck, Marshall, you totally suck."
Marshall: That's it? I suck. Lily.
Lily: Yes, you suck. You said you wouldn't read it and you did.
Marshall: Well, you didn't keep your promise either. I don't see any dirty pictures in here.
Lily: Oh, fine, I'll take the dirty pictures.
Marshall: I don't want 'em now.
Lily: What is that supposed to mean?
Marshall: What?! Nothing. Nothing. You're beautiful. I would love the photos. Have I told you how beautiful you look?