Narator: Now kids, When aunt Robin was the teenager. She was, well, the Canadian pop star. But by 2008, she was the entirely different person.
Robin: Coming up next, 'Is your baby trying to kill you?'
Narator: Which maybe events that week, all the more surprising.
Ted: So, I got up this morning, its freezing. So I walked over there. And I don't know why I am still talking. Because clearly we are all asking the same question. What in God's creation is going on with Robin's breasts.
Robin: I know, right, isn't that amazing? I spent half an hour making these happen. Its tape in there, cotton balls, half of a Nerf football, but it works, right?
Lily: Totally. What's the occasion?
Robin: And old friend from Canada is in town and I'm meeting him for a drink.
Barney: Ooh! Somebody you went to Degrassi with?
Robin: No. Actually, he was my first boyfriend.
Robin: Simon. I thought he was the coolest guy ever. He smelled like Drakkar. He could ollie on a skateboard. He had the most amazing collection of Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts. We spent the whole summer madly in love.
Barney: Tell me more. Tell me more. Like, did he have a car?
Marshall: So he's the guy who... How shall I say this like a gentleman? Robin, did he take your maple leaf?
How shall I say 何と言ったらいいのかなあ
Robin: No, it wasn't like that.
Barney: Sounds to me like he gave you your first "O, Canada!" face.
Narator: This went on for a really long time. Some of them jokes were elegant and well-crafted...
Lily: Wait, wait. Did he break up with you and tell you he's just not that Inuit?
Narator:...others were crude, and ill-formed...
crude 雑な ill-formed 不適格な
Ted: Um, something about fur trapping.
fur trapping 動物の捕獲
Narator:...and others were obvious, but needed to be said...
Barney: Did you ride his Zamboni?
Marshall: Wait, wait, wait. Did he...? I think I'm out.
Ted: Yeah, I'm also "oot. Okay, now I'm really out.
Robin: Well, I'm sorry, guys. It was all very tame. We only dated for a week and a half.
Barney: Wha...? I thought you said you were together all summer.
Robin: Yeah. Summer in Canada is pretty much the last week of July. Anyway, one night, his band just finish playing this gig...
Robin: Oh, my God! Simon. That was such a good show. You guys totally rocked out.
Simon: Yeah. I know. I figure we're about four or five gigs away from really exploding. We're gonna be big, babe. I mean, like Crash-Test-Dummies big. So, that everything? All right. Listen, babe... It's over.
Simon: I'm getting back together with Louise Marsh.
Lily: Louise Marsh?! That's a whore's name if I ever heard one.
Marshall: Yeah, why would he want to get back together with Louise Marsh?
Simon: Well, the thing is... her folks just put in a pool.
her folks put in a pool =Her parents just put a pool in their residence
Robin: Oh... So... I totally... I get it. Pools are great. Swimming's awesome. We have a sprinkler. Run right through it. Well, I should go.
Simon: Uh... Babe, wait.
Robin: Yeah, Simon?
Simon: You forgot to load the drum set.
Ted: No! Tell me you did not load the drum set.
Robin: I did.
Marshall: And now he's coming here? Robin, why do you want to see this guy?
Lily: Oh! I know why. You're gonna win, aren't you?
Robin: I have no idea what you' talking about.
Ted: Yes, you do. Whenever you haven't seen someone for a long time, no matter how much you want to deny it, there's always a clear winner and a clear loser.
Robin: Well, since you brought it up, let's add up the points.
Barney: You're starting out with two big ones right there.
Robin: Thank you. Okay. So, Simon still lives with his mom.
Ted: Point Robin.
Robin: Um, he never became a rock star.
Lily: Point Robin.
Robin: He now works at a water slide park outside of Ottawa.
Marshall: Point Simon.
Ted: Wait. Do they have a wave pool?
Marshall: Ah. Point Robin. That's five-zip. There's no coming back from that.
Robin: Yeah, he's going down. I mean, unless somehow, he got hotter. There he is.
Narator: And sure enough, there was a clear winner, and a clear loser. It just wasn't clear to everybody.
sure enugh 案の定
Simon: Hey, babe.
Robin: Oh, my God.
Ted: Okay, what the hell just happened?
Robin: Oh, come on, it wasn't so bad, was it?
Robin: Hey, Simon.
Simon: Wow, look at you. You got old.
Robin: Yeah. You look great. You got hotter, like that's possible.
Robin: So... Look, I know it didn't go as planned, but I can't help it. I mean... he's still got it.
go as planned 予定通りに行く
Simon: Whoa! Four bucks for a brew? What a rip. Good thing I'm packing.
What a rip off ぼったくりだ
Robin: So he's not a snob. He's from a different part of Canada, you know? The maple leaf flag on the back of the pickup truck? He's Red Province. He's from the Deep North.
Marshall: The thing is, we gave you so many opportunities.
Lily: So, Simon, Robin's a bit of a local celebrity here in New York. She's the lead anchor at Metro News One. Tell him, Robin.
Robin: No. It's stupid. It's not cool, like Simon's shirt.
Barney: I'm sorry, Simon. Here we are nattering on about our big celebrity. What do you do for a living?
Simon: Oh, I work at the Splish Splash Ottawa Water Slide Park.
Ted: Huh! A water slide park. That sure is different than what Robin does.
Simon: Yeah, it is... because I save lives. If I'm not sitting in that stool at the top of the slide, going... Go.. Go... Go... people die. What, you think it's so easy? You try it.
Ted: Um...okay. Go.
Simon: You didn't put your hand up. Kid just died.
Ted: No, I didn't know...
Simon: Another kid just went; he died too.
Ted: Oh, well, sure. I mean, if I was actually...
Simon: Another kid just went; now you've got a pile-up and Robin's got something to report on the news. This just in My friend, Ted, just killed a bunch of kids today.
Lily: Well, that's cool. You got to pay the bills somehow since your whole music thing didn't really pan out, did it?
pan out 成功する
Simon: Well, it hasn't panned out yet, but the band's still going. About four or five gigs away from really exploding.
Robin: The Foreskins are still playing?
Ted: The Foreskins? How'd you guys come up with that name?
come up with 思いつく
Simon: Well, there's four of us, and we play without shirts. Babe, seriously.
Robin: I know. I'm sorry.