Barney: You, you got something to say to me?
Marshall: What are you talking about?
Barney: I know Robin was never really married.
Marshall: How could you possibly know that?
Lily: And then I put on my pajamas and got into bed. What about you?
Marshall: Uh, let's see. Uh, first, I took the subway to school, and I got a bagel. Then I went to the library and found out Robin was never married. Crazy. And then I was hungry again so I went down to the vending machine...
Marshall: You told him?
Lily: I had to. I'm Slap Bet Commissioner. Baby, this hurts me more than it's gonna hurt you.
Barney: Don't count on it. I've been practicing on a tree trunk.
tree trunk 木の幹
Lily: Barney gets three slaps.
Lily: One because you lied. And two for being prematurely slapped. Three slaps.
Barney: Oh my God. Are you gonna cry?
Marshall: No. You're gonna cry.
Ted: I just don't think it's healthy to keep big secrets in a relationship. My parents didn't really talk to each other for thirty years and now they're divorced.
Robin: I have shared more of myself with you than I have ever shared with anyone. I'm asking for this one secret, which has nothing to do with us, to just be mine.
Barney: So I just got a very interesting phone call.
Ted: What are you talking about?
Barney: I know Robin's secret.
Barney: That's right, I know your secret, Robin. Or should I say Robin Sparkles?
Robin: How do you know that name?
Barney: 'Cause I know the truth. And I am about to show it to you right now.
Barney: Gather around, Ted, you're gonna wanna see this.
Ted: Yeah. No I don't.
Ted: Robin wants to keep this a secret so it's gonna stay a secret.
Barney: Yeah, it's not gonna stay a secret. You see, in my research, I came upon a certain gentleman in Malaysia who is in possession of a certain video tape. He just emailed me that it will be up and running on MySpace in about, right now!
come upon に出会う
Barney: Robin's world is about to be turned upside-down. I mean, I'm guessing.
turn upside down 〜をめちゃくちゃにする
Robin: Barney, don't, okay.
Barney: Robin, please don't panic. I'm only going to show enough to prove to Marshall that I was right.
Ted: No, Barney, I said we're not watching this.
Robin: No, it's time. Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do but if it's out there, there's no point in trying to hide it anymore. Let's just watch it and be done with it.
Lily: Are you as terrified as I am?
Marshall: I don't wanna get slapped again.
Robin: I wanna stress that I was young.
Barney: Yeah you were.
Robin: And I didn't know any better.
Barney: They never do.
Robin: And it started out as an innocent modeling job.
Barney: It always does. Robin
Sparkles: Please, Mr.Johnson, I'm sorry I was a bad girl. Please don't give me detention. Isn't there something I can do to make it up to you?
Ted: Oh my God.
Barney: Well, obviously, I've been proven right, so in the interest of Robin's dignity, I won't show anymore. Plus, it's getting late. It's already slap o'clock.
Robin: What the hell was that?
Barney: I slap bet Marshall that you did porn, so I win.
Robin: porn? I wish it was porn, it would be less embarrassing.
Robin Sparkles: I know, how about I sing you a song!
Robin Sparkles: Let's go the mall everybody! Come on, Jessica. Come on, Tori.
Robin: I was a teenage pop star in Canada.
Robin Sparkles: Put on your jelly bracelets and your cool graffiti coat. At the mall, having fun is what it's all about.
Lily: This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Marshall: That's you?
Robin: Yes. I had one minor hit. I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.
live off of の援助で生活する
Robin Sparkles: Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today.
Marshall: This is the 90's. Why does it look like 1986?
Robin: The 80's didn't come to Canada till like '93.
Marshall: Taking a break from the first of many viewings, I can't help but notice that this isn't porn.
Lily: And yet a slap occurred without the permission of the Slap Bet Commissioner.
Marshall: Looks like someone suffered from premature slapulation
Ted: Oh my God, Robin's rapping. Guys, Robin's rapping.
Robin Sparkles: Went to the mall with a couple of friends. Had a whole week's allowance to spend.
Lily: OK, I'm going to give you a choice. Either ten slaps right now in a row or five slaps that can be doled at any point from here to eternity.
Marshall, Ted: Cool.
Ted: Go with the 10 now.
Robin: No, wait, why get 10 when you can get 5?
Ted: Yeah, but the constant fear of knowing that at any moment you can get slapped in the face would drive you crazy.
Barney: I'm gonna go with the five for eternity.
Robin: Good call.
Ted: Horrible call.
Marshall: Relax, dude, I'm just going for my soda, man. Take it easy. This is gonna be fun.
Robin Sparkles: Let's go to the mall today! Everybody loves the mall
Lily: So, just to be clear, you wanted everybody to go to the mall today?
Barney: Wow, we're gonna watch this a lot.
Robin: I even wore a bedazzled jean jacket.
Ted: Hey, just so you know, 16-year-old me would have been all over you. You could have been the girlfriend in Canada I told everyone I had. Hey, I'm really sorry I pried this out of you. I probably should have left it alone.
I'm all over you あなたに夢中 pry 詮索する
Robin: You know what, you know me better now. That feels kinda nice.
Lily, Marshall, Barney: Aw.
Marshall: That's one.
Robin Sparkles: Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today!
Barney: Did you have to laugh like that every time?
Robin Sparkles: There's this boy I like. Met him at the food court. He's got hair like Gretzky and he does jumps on his skateboard. I hope he asks me out. Take me to my favorite spot. It'll be just him and me.
Robot: But don't forget the robot.
Marshall: The robot! Hey!
Robin Sparkles: But, baby, I don't wanna wait.
Ted: No, she doesn't wanna wait.
Robin Sparkles: I'm gonna rock your body anyway. I'm going to rock your body 'til Canada Day. Everybody, come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today! Today, today, today, today. Let's go to the mall (today). Let's go to the mall (today)...