ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"Okay, listen, I am going to get you to that hospital or die trying."

—Ž‚ż’…‚Ż

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzThe Magician's Code

Kids, when Aunt Lily went into labor, Marshall was somewhere slightly inconvenient, in Atlantic City with Uncle Barney, and drunk to the point of talking like Yoda.

to the point of ‚ˇ‚é‚­‚炢‚É

Baby come Papa gonna be am I Hospital must we get now

Okay, there's like a four-hour wait at the valet stand.Plus, we're in no shape to drive.So, a car's out Wait, don't worry.We'll take a cab to the train station.

in no shape to ‚ľ‚˝‚˘‹C•Ş‚Ĺ‚Í‚Č‚˘

Yeah, good luck getting a cab.It's impossible because of the big thing.

Kids, for the life of me, I can't remember what the big thing was in Atlantic City that weekend.Was it a cheerleading convention? No, it was a porn convention.Sci-fi convention? Eh, I can't remember.

for the life of me ‚Ç‚ń‚Č‚É•KŽ€‚É“w—Í‚ľ‚Ä‚ŕ

We're stuck in Atlantic City!

City of Atlantic stuck in are we.

Okay, Lily, it's going to be fine.We are not freaking out.We are not freaking out!

I feel calmer already.

Let's get you to the hospital.

Oh, I can't go yet.I talked to Dr.Sonya.They won't admit me until my contractions are four minutes apart.

contraction w’É

Okay, well, if you don't make it in time, I have got you covered.When I was 13, my father caught me kissing a boy, so he sent me to our family's ranch for foaling season.Once you see a baby horse erupt through that birth canal, you stop even touching yourself.Anyway, I had skinny arms, so I got up there elbow deep.I lost this watch birthing Blacky

Okay, stop it.I am not a farm animal.

Oh, there we go.Easy girl.Sugar cube? Oh, okay.

Ah, don't worry, Lil.Some of us know what a woman actually needs at a time like this.A kick-ass labor announcement e-mail.

A man, a woman and their best friend, embark on an incredible journey.Lily's cervix is dilating, and we want you all to be part of its grand opening.

embark ć‚čo‚ˇ cervix Žq‹{čňŠÇ dilate L‚Ş‚é

You are not sending that to anyone, ever.So what I need right now is distraction from the pain.Just tell me a story.

Uh, what story?

I don't care.Anything.

How about the worst cab ride ever?

Clean your window for you?

No! Hey, get off my cab!

Oh! Oh, God! Oh!

Ah!

We are not panicking! We are not panicking!

Get on all fours; It widens your hind quarters.

Stop it! I am not a farm animal! But give me that sugar cube.

Okay, listen, I am going to get you to that hospital or die trying.And if I succeed, I ask only one thing in return.Let me choose your child's middle name.Because I have thought up the most awesome name of all time.

or die trying ‚Ç‚ń‚ČŠëŒŻ‚Ş‚ ‚낤‚Ć

What's the middle name?

Wait for it

I'm waiting.

Wait for it

I said I'm waiting.

Wait for it.

What's the middle name?

No, the middle name is "Wait For It." Let's say his first name is, oh, I don't know, Barney.He'd be Barney "Wait For It" Eriksen.How awesome is that?

That is the coolest middle name of all time.

I know! Okay, listen.I have a plan to get us to New York.All we have to do is get our hands on that motorcycle.And I know just the way to do it.

get one's hands on Žč‚É“ü‚ę‚é

Here.

Oh.Hi, Judy.Oh, good.You got the e-mail from Ted.No, I am not worried my city hips are too narrow, and-and your grandson's going to get stuck.I got to go.I thought you deleted that stupid e-mail.

Okay, I sent it by accident.She like it?

Yes! Just keep telling me stories!

Second base with Neil Young.

Um, I don't normally go to, um, second base and tell, but I just spent a magical night with Neil Young.He's still in my room.

Seriously?

Oh, my God.

Be cool guys, don't scare him off.

He-Hey Robin

Yeah.

That's not Neil Young.

Oh, God.

Oh, we're busting apple bags? I can bust apple bags.Ted, remember when we were dating and we threw that party and one of those appetizers just didn't sit right?

Ah doesn't sound familiar.

I call this story "Ted and the Cuban Sandwich Crisis." Ted came out of that bathroom looking like Joe Frazier after the Thrilla in Manila.

Oh, what is that smell!?

Ugh!

So I, being a great girlfriend, tried to help him out.

You guys are all crazy; I don't smell anything.Anyway, uh, who wants to go up on the roof?

But then

She, who denied it, supplied it.

Yeah, must have been that Cuban sandwich, huh, babe?

That was not cool, Ted.

Contraction!

That wasn't cool, Ted?

Just keep going with the stories.I don't even care if I've heard it before.Just tell me, uh, "Where Does That Door Go?"

Okay.

Hey, I've never noticed that door before.I wonder where it goes.

Ted.

Ted.

No, no, no, let him let him

Wow

Don't No Robi

Oh Wow

Dad, oh, good.Let me guess, you got Ted's e-mail.

I'm on my way, Princess.

Dad, wait, no, not Damn it, Ted.I was okay with you e-mailing my aunt, my cousins, and your cousins, and the guy that Robin thought was Neil Young.But my father is the absolute worst person to have around in any sort of medical situation.When I was seven, I needed to have my tonsils out.

having one's tonsils out G“‘BŘœ

Daddy, I'm scared.

Aw, Princess, I would be too.I've researched this surgery.Anything can happen.You could bleed to death you could have your jaw removed due to infection, and the anesthesia could suddenly just stop working, much like your mom's and my marriage.You do know that we're getting a divor Don't worry about it.We'll talk about it after the surgery.

Calm down, girl.

Okay, for the last time, I am not Actually, keep going.

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