Ted: Okay, think you're gonna be happy with my new toast. There's nothing sexual. It's, uh, it's just the story of an important moment in your relationship.
Marshall: I'm all ears.
I'm all ears ちゃんと聞いてるよ
Ted: Hello, everyone, I'm Ted Mosby, Marshall's best man.
Ted: Right? That's great. Back when we were all freshman and Marshall and Lily were just a few short weeks into their relationship... It was 4:00 in the morning, and I'm not gonna lie, we were a wee bit wasted. We were starving. So I'd gone out to get us some snacks, and when I got back...
wee bit ほんのわずか wasted 泥酔状態
Marshall: I love you.
Lily: I love you, too. I know it's soon to say it, but I'm so glad you did.
Marshall: So here's what you want to talk about in front of my entire family drinking, having a girl in my room, eating junk food.
Ted: Dude, you're almost 30. Your mom would be mad at you for eating junk food?
Marshall: Yeah, Ted, 'cause nutrition's not important. Also, so Lily's never heard that story before. How's she going to react when she finds out the first time I said "I love you" to her, I was actually saying it to you and a bag of Funyuns
Ted: But who cares? You did love her. And you still do. And you're totally over Funyuns, so it's not weird.
Marshall: Hey, Lil.
Ted: Hey? That's it?
Marshall: What are you talking about?
Ted: Well, you guys have been spending the last few nights apart. I figured there'd be a lot of giggling, crying, jumping up and down, and then whatever Lily would do.
Narator: Now, one thing I remember about the bar menu at McClaren's is that there were no fewer than 11 different deep-fried appetizers. That night, Aunt Lily ordered them all.
Barney: Check it out. Okay, imagine... imagine, if you will, that this is the $1 space on The Price Is Right wheel. Ready?
Marshall: Oh, wow, that was pretty close.
Barney: Close? Close?! It's called The Price Is Right, not The Price Is Close! Oh, man, this is bad. If I don't win the spin-off, and I can't get into the Showcase Showdown, everything's ruined! It's all ruined!
Ted: What is ruined? Why, why is this such a big deal?
Barney: Okay, guys... sit down, I've got to tell you something. The reason I'm going on The Price Is Right is because I've decided that it's time for me to meet my real father.
Ted: Your father?
Barney: That's right. My father... is Bob Barker.
Ted: Your dad... is Bob Barker?
Barney: That's right
Lily: The host of The Price Is Right, Bob Barker?
Barney: That's Pops.
Bareney: Yes, Robin?
Robin: Why in the world do you think Bob Barker is your father?
Barney: Uh, because my mother told me he was, that's why.
Barney: Mom, who's my dad? All the other kids at school know who their dad is. Who's mine?
Barney's mom: Oh, I don't know. That guy.
Barney: Look, Dad, I got straight A's!
Barney: Hey, Dad, guess who I'm going as for Halloween?
Barney: Want to play some catch, Pop?
Barney: So now I'm gonna go to L.A., be on the show, win the Showcase Showdown, make him proud of me, and then tell him who I am.
Ted: You're gonna tell Bob Barker that you're his son on national television?
Barney: Why is this so hard for you people to believe?
Robin: Drop the popper! Lily has to gain five pounds in a week and a half, and it is my job to help her get there.
Lily: This is the best wedding diet ever.
Lily: I lost a pound.
Robin: That is impossible. You ate McDonald's every meal for three days.
Lily: I knew that Super Size Me guy was full of it.
Robin: Well, it must be the wedding stress. We just got to up the intake. Lily Aldrin, drop and give me 20 bites of fudge! Okay? Don't nibble at it. Attack it! Come on, Lily. You can do better than that!
intake 摂取量 fudge ファッジ nibble かじる
Lily: I can't.
Robin: Well, eat faster, before your body figures out it's full.
Lily: I'm trying.
Robin: Oh, are you gonna cry? You gonna cry? Skinny little baby's gonna cry? Well, eat, damn it, eat!
Ted: Hey, so I think I figured out how to do your toast in a completely appropriate way.
Ted: Yeah. Good evening. I'm Ted Mosby, Marshall's best man.
Marshall: Still strong, right?
Ted: Great, yeah. I'd like to share with you all a story about the momentous evening last fall.
Ted: when Marshall and Lily got back together. Afterward, we stayed up till 10:00 at night, doing shots of chocolate milk.
Afterward 後で stay up 寝ずに起きている
Ted: Man, I'm well nourished right now!
Barney: Calcium promotes healthy teeth and bones.
Robin: Thanks, Marshall, for teaching us you don't need alcohol to have fun.
Marshall: Oh, don't thank me. Thank my parents for teaching me good values.
Ted: Now, I wasn't supposed to hear this next part, but Marshall leaned over to Lily and whispered.
lean over to 〜に身を寄せる
Marshall: You know what I'd like to do to you right now? I'd like to hold your hand. I'd like to hold your hand so hard that you're not able to shake hands for a week.
Lily: Are you just going to talk about holding my hand or are you going to hold it?
Ted: Then a little later, Robin caught them... Oh, um......holding hands.
Ted: It was a lovely and responsible night. To Marshall and Lily.
Marshall: That's the worst toast I've ever heard, dude. It's totally boring.
Ted: Exactly. It's impossible to write a good toast with you censoring me, man. I give up. I'm just going to read that thing about Jesus and the footprints.
Lily: I give up, too. I don't care if my dress doesn't fit. I can't eat anymore. I-I feel like my stomach's going to explode.
Marshall: I know.
Ted: And so, Lily and I were both about to give up, but as you can all see, Lily does look beautiful in that dress, and here I am giving a toast. You know, all this time, I'd been wracking my brain trying to pick out the perfect moment to capture Lily and Marshall as a couple. But then I realized the perfect moment wasn't some needle lost in the haystack of their ten years together. The perfect Lily and Marshall moment happened two nights ago.
Ted: Marshall, what are you doing?
Marshall: Going to the bathroom.
Ted: In the hall?
Ted: You're wide awake.
Marshall: Robbing us?
Ted: Turns out, all week long he'd been sneaking out to a hotel on 72nd, to meet Lily.
Lily: God, I missed you.
Marshall: I can't sleep without you. Hey, baby? Would you be the big spoon for a while?
Lily: Sure, baby.
Marshall: How's the weight gaining going?
Lily: Ugh, terribly. I'm too stressed out without you around.
Marshall: Well, I'm here now.
Ted: And so Lily and Marshall failed in their experiment with apartness, but they succeeded in getting Lily into her dress. You know, there really are a million things I could tell you about Lily and Marshall, but really, the only thing you need to know is that ten years into their relationship, they still couldn't spend a single night apart. May they never have to again. To Lily and Marshall.
All: To Lily and Marshall.