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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“1yŒ´‘čzMatchmaker

Narator: Kids, before I met your mother, when I was still out there searching, I learned something valuable, that love is not a science.

Daughter: Wow, that was a great story, Dad.

Son: We're gonna go watch TV.

Narator: You see, sometimes in life, you just have to accept that certain things can't be explained. And that's kind of scary.

scary ‹°‚ë‚ľ‚˘A•|‚˘A‚¨‚Á‚Š‚Č‚˘

Marshall: Oh my God.

Lily: I know, I'm still shaking.

Barney: What the? Haha, joke's on you, I have a cold.

joke's on you ˆŤ‚Ó‚´‚Ż‚ŞŽŠ•Ş‚É•Ô‚Á‚Ä‚­‚é

Robin: Are you guys OK?

Marshall: Another round and back it up for me and Lily.

Another round and back it up for me and Lily it basically means that he wants another round of beer and after that he wants another one and another and another etc.

Ted: What happened?

Marshall: We saw something, up in the apartment.

Lily: Something bad.

Marshall: I don't know what it is, but margaritas make me sexy.

margaritas ƒ}ƒ‹ƒKƒŠ[ƒ^

Lily: Oh, mucho sexy. You quiero Marshall.

Lily: Oh my God.

Ted: What was it?

Marshall: Only the craziest, meanest looking mouse you've ever seen.

craziest ƒNƒŒƒCƒW[‚ĚĹă‹‰ meanest mean‚ĚĹă‹‰ k”n‚Č‚Ç‚ŞlŒä‚ľ‚Ş‚˝‚˘Akl‚ށlˆľ‚˘‚É‚­‚˘

Lily: Mouse? Sweetie, that wasn't a mouse. That was a huge cockroach.

Marshall: Baby, it was a mouse. It had a whiskers.

whiskers –j‚Đ‚°

Lily: But those things coming out of his head, those were antennae.

come out of `‚Š‚ço‚Ä‚­‚é

Barney: Marshall ran away from a cockroach.

Marshall: It, it was a mouse.

Barney: Oh, yeah, sorry, my bad. You're a man.

Robin: Ooh, my story's on. Ted, pay attention. Carl, turn it up.

Robin: I'm here with Ellen Pierce, New York's premiere matchmaker. Ellen, your company, Love Solutions boasts a 100% success rate. What's your secret?

boast ŽŠ–‚ˇ‚éAŒÖ‚é

Ellen: Science. Everything in life can be broken down to ones and zeros, even love. All I have to do is input the variables, run the algorithm, and presto manifesto, you have a soulmate, and it works. Just ask all of my happy couples. And these are just the attractive ones, I have more photos in the bathroom.

break down •Ş‰đ‚ł‚ę‚é presto manifesto ‚˘‚Á‚ż‚傤ƒAƒKƒŠ soulmate “ŻŽu

Robin: Love Solution's Ellen Pierce, a beacon of hope for New York city's lovelorn. Robin Scherbatsky...

lovelorn Ž¸—ö‚Ĺ’ÉŽč‚đŽó‚Ż‚˝A•ń‚í‚ę‚Č‚˘—ö‚ŏS‚ľ‚˝

Barney: Was that chick at the end really a client?

at the end ĹŒă‚Ɂi‚́jAI‚í‚č‚Ɂi‚́jA‚‚˘‚É

Robin: Yes.

Barney: We're signing up.

Ted: What?

Barney: Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot. That's a perfect cocktail. Shake well, then sleep with.

desperate ŽŠ–\ŽŠŠü‚́A‚â‚Ż‚­‚ť‚É‚Č‚Á‚˝

Ted: I'm not going to a matchmaker. That's like giving up. It's the man version of getting a cat.

Marshall: No, it wasn't a cockroach. It had fur and only mammals have fur.

fur –Ń”ç mammals šM“ű—Ţ

Lily: It was a cockroach.

Marshall: Come on, Lily, the only way that that was a cockroach was if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed.

Lily: Oh my God.

Barney: Come on.

Barney: Ted, hurry, you gotta help me. My boat is sinking.

Ted: What?

Barney: My boat is sinking.

Ted: You have a boat?

Barney: Yes, I bought a boat last year at a police auction. I just got a call from a guy down at the marina that it's leaning starboard at a 45 degree angle. If I don't get there right now, it's gonna capsize. Now, come on!

starboard ‰EŒ˝ leaning ŒXŽÎ capsize “]•˘‚ˇ‚é

Ted: Your boat is sinking. That was good.

Barney: Come on, Ted, this is an incredible opportunity. We'll meet our soulmates, nail 'em and never call them again.

nail ƒXƒ‰ƒ“ƒO‚Ĺ = to have sex with

Ellen: All finished, gentlemen? Congratulations, you have just taken your very first step.

Barney: Gosh, thanks, Ellen. I sure hope this works. I'm so done with the single life, all the games, the meaningless sex.

meaningless –łˆÓ–Ą‚Č

Ellen: You deserve more.

You deserve more ‚ ‚Č‚˝‚Í ‚ŕ‚Á‚Ć ‚Ţ‚­‚í‚ę‚Ä‚ŕ‚悢

Barney: That is so true, Ellen. I really think I'm ready to stop being a me and start being a we. Hey, is there anyway I can let it be known that I love cuddling?

is there anyway ‚Ç‚¤‚É‚Š cuddle •ř‚Ť’÷‚ß‚éAŠń‚č“Y‚¤

Ellen: Oh, of course you can. That is so...

Barney: It's kind of hard to talk about with Ted here, but I just want someone who's not afraid to hold me at night when the tears come. Ellen, can you help me find her?

Ellen: Get out.

Barney: What?

Ellen: I get 15 guys like you every week. Jerks who just want to meet vulnerable women, nail 'em and never call them again.

vulnerable ‚‚Ť‚₡‚˘

Barney: Oh my God, people do that.

Ellen: You wanna do this the easy way or the hard way?

Barney: What's the hard way? Security roughs me up and tosses me out?

rough up ’ɂ߂‚Ż‚é toss out •ú‚čo‚ˇ

Ellen: That's the easy way. The hard way is that I stomp the crap out of you myself.

stomp the crap out of `‚Đ‚Ç‚­“Ľ‚݂‚Ż‚é

Barney: OK, Ted, let's go.

Ellen: Not you, you stay.

Ellen: You're cute. You're an architect. Good career and you didn't use an obvious alias on your application like your friend, Jack Package.

Barney: It's pronounced 'Pa-kojj.'

pronounce ”­‰š‚ˇ‚é

Ellen: Get outta here!

Ellen: You I can work with. You give me three days and I will find the woman you will marry.

Ted: Ah, no thanks. I don't need an algorithm to meet women. It's New York City. You know, plenty of fish in the sea.

Ellen: Plenty of fish in the sea. Yes, there's 9 million people in New York, 4.5 million women. Of course you wanna meet someone roughly your own age, let's say, plus minus 5 years. So if we take into account the most recent census data, that leaves us with 482,000. But, uh, wait 48% of those are already in relationships and then you have to eliminate half for intelligence, sense of humor and compatibility and then you have to take out the ex-girlfriends and the relatives and oh, we can't forget those lesbians and then that leaves us with 8 women.

census lŒű’˛¸ eliminate œŠO‚ˇ‚é compatibility ‘ŠŤ relative ŒŒ‰ŽŇ

Ted: That can't be right. Eight? Really, eight?

Ellen: There are 8 fish in that big, blue ocean, Ted. And if you feel confident that you can reel one into your boat without me, there's the door.

confident ŽŠM‚ ‚Ó‚ę‚é reel ˆř‚ŤŠń‚š‚é

Ted: Do you take credit cards?

Lily: OK, it's back and this time we got a good look.

get a good look at `‚đ‚ć‚­ŒŠ‚é

Barney: Hey, seriously, you have to stop doing that.

Marshall: It's bigger now. It's been feeding.

Lily: We were just upstairs watching TV.

Marshall: Ah gosh.

Lily: OK, let's do this.

Marshall: Shh, shh, it's OK, it's over.

Barney: So did you get a good look at it?

Lily: Yeah. It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton like a roach...

exoskeleton ŠOœŠi roach ƒSƒLƒuƒŠ

Marshall: But it has mouse-like characteristics. Grey-brown tufts of fur, a tail.

characteristic “Á’ĽA“ÁŤ tuft –[

Robin: So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse?

Lily: It's a cockamouse.

Robin: What?

Lily: It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. It's as if a cockroach and a mouse...you know...

as if ‚ ‚˝‚Š‚ŕ`‚Š‚̂悤‚É

Barney: Hit the horizontal ten-legged interspecies cha-cha?

Hit the horizontalTo lay down in a horizontal position@@interspecies sś•¨tŽíŠÔ‚Ě interspecies chimera ŽíŠÔƒLƒƒ‰‚Č‚Ě‚Ĺ interspecies cha-cha‚́AŽíŠÔƒ`ƒƒƒ`ƒƒH

Robin: That's impossible. That simply can't happen.

Lily: Oh, but it can.

Marshall: And it has

Lily: And it's pissed.

pissed “{‚Á‚āA• ‚𗧂ĂāA‚¤‚ń‚´‚č‚ľ‚Ä

Ted: Dude, is everything OK? You left the front door open.

Marshall: There was no time.

Robin: So Love Solutions, did you meet the love of your life?

Ted: She said it'd take three days. It's been five days. Should I be worried?

Lily: Oh, just play it cool. Don't Ted out about it.

Ted: Did you just use my name as a verb?

verb “ŽŽŒ

Barney: Oh, yeah, we do that behind your back. Ted-out: to overthink. Also see Ted-up. Ted-up: to overthink something with disastrous results. Sample sentence: Billy Tedded up when

overthink `‚đl‚Ś‰ß‚Ź‚é disastrous ĐŠQ‚đˆř‚Ť‹N‚ą‚ˇA”j–Ĺ“I‚ȁA”ߎS‚Č

Ted: OK, I get it. Don't worry, I'm not gonna ted anything up or out. I'll just give it a few more days.

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Ą‰ń‚́AƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"is there anyway" ‚Ç‚¤‚É‚Š "Is there anyway I can get through the line quicker?"