Narator: Kids, in the spring of 2008 something kind of strange have been happening to your uncle Barney. He's been doing great with a woman.
Barney: So I threw the pressure air oxygen into its mouth. I shoot the tank, boom, no more shark. Mr. Hall and I swam back to shore. Hey,let me freshen you a drink.
shore 〜を陸にあげる freshen 新しくする
Narator: He's only been gone a few moments but when he return...
Barney: So where were we?
Narator:...he gets slap! It kept happening... Until finally Lily was approached by a mysterious woman who wants her stay away from Barney...so when it happened once more...
Barney: Again? Really? Wait...
Narator: Barney knew who to look for...
Barney: Hey, excuse me. Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over?
Barney: What are you doing on Friday?
Barney: Stop! Amy?
Narator: Kids, sometimes you can do something right a thousand times in a row.
Lily: A rainbow! That's beautiful! What a beautiful rainbow! Another rainbow? It's beautiful!
Narator: But then, that thousand-and-first time...
Lily: You're kidding me. Seriously, aren't you sick of these things?
Ted: Hey, how was your day?
Lily: Today, I yelled at a little girl for painting a rainbow.
Ted: A rainbow? Sounds like that bitch had it coming.
Marshall: So, uh, I just met with the contractor. and it turns out, that fixing the floors of the new apartment is going to cost a lot more than the estimate.
Lily: But we can barely afford that to begin with.
Marshall: I hate to say this, but I think you're going to have to sell your stuff.
Lily: Whoa! Marshall, that's just a game we play in the bedroom.
Marshall: I mean your clothes. All those designer pieces and everything.
Lily: What? Why just my clothes?
Marshall: We can sell my stuff, too, but I got to tell you, I think your Marc Jacobs cocktail dress is going to go for a lot more than my "Split Happens" bowling shirt.
Marshall: I'm not selling that. I've already made the Website.
Lily: You made a Website?
Marshall: Yeah, it's called "Lily-and-Marshall-sell- their-stuff-dot-com."
Lily: No, you know what would be a better name for the site? Guy-forces-his-wife- to-dress-in-a-garbage-bag- for-the-next- three-years-dot-com. That's real.
Marshall: My word, that woman is actually wearing a-a garbage bag.
Lily: Hmm, but, girlfriend, you cannot pull off a tall kitchen.
Barney: Why are you trying to ruin my life?
Abby: Well, you slept with me and then you never called me again.
Abby: That's it.
Barney: That's it? As far as I'm concerned, if I leave you safe on dry land with adequate transportation home, you've got nothing to complain about.
adequate 適正な transportation home 帰宅の乗り物
Abby: Well, it hurt, okay? And then Ted, the love of my life started dating my boss instead of me. Do you know how that feels?
Barney: Oh, boo-hoo, poor little Ashley.
Barney: Abby. A few weeks ago, Ted dumped me as his wingman. You had a crush on him for a couple weeks? I was Ted's best friend for seven years.
hae a crush on に熱をあげる
Abby: Ted said Marshall was his best friend.
Barney: Seven years!
Barney: Ted. What an idiot. With his stupid "meaningful relationship" with Stella.
Abby: I hate Ted.
Barney: I hate Ted more.
Abby: Are you as turned on as I am?
Barney: Probably not quite as much.
Abby: I'm sorry I yelled out "Ted."
Barney: I'm sorry I yelled out "Abby."
Abby: I am Abby.
Barney: Oh, cool.
Ted: This is insane. Has Lily even worn half this stuff?
Robin: Oh, yeah, like there's nothing in your closet you've never worn?
Ted: As a matter of fact, no, there isn't.
As a matter of fact ほんとのこと言うと
Robin: Whatever, red cowboy boots.
Ted: Those are nice boots. I totally pull those off.
Marshall: Hey, Lil, if I were to say "Ted could never pull them off," What would I be talking about?
Robin: His red cowboy boots.
Ted: I totally pull them off! It's a classic Western look.
Marshall: Oh, okay, uh, today's category, classic Westerns that involve red cowboy boots. Ooh, ooh! Robin.
Robin: "The Good, the Bad, and the Fabulous."
Lily: "The Magnificent Kevin."
Marshall: "No Country for Straight Men."
Lily: I don't want to sell my clothes!
Robin: Oh, I know, sweetie. Come here. Is this a hundred percent silk?
Marshall: Lily,listen, we really need the money. I have some leads on a job, but until then, I just... I don't know what else we can do.
have a lead on 〜のきっかけをつかんでいる
Lily: I'll sell my paintings!
Lily: Yeah, I'll sell my paintings. Good oil paintings go for like, $500.
Marshall: Yeah. Totally. But...
Narator: Kids, sometimes you can do something right a thousand times in a row...
Marshall: I love it. It's a masterpiece. That's it. We're selling the TV. I just want to come home and stare at this all day. Aw. Somebody call the cops! My wife stole an awesome painting from the museum!
Narator: But then, that thousand-and-first time...
Marshall:...that kind of money only goes for real paintings.
Lily: What does that mean?
Marshall: Look, it just, it just means that-that we need money right now and I'm not sure that selling your paintings is-is how we're going to get it.
Lily: You don't believe in me.
Marshall: No, wait, wait! Of c... of course I believe in you!
Lily: Marshall, I am proud of my work as an artist. My paintings are good. I bet Robin would buy one. What now?
Marshall: I love your painting, I just... I'm trying to be realistic.
Lily: Well, how much money do we need for the contractor to finish the job?
Marshall: About 1,500 bucks.
Lily: Okay. So, if I can sell three of my paintings at 500 bucks a pop, then I get to keep all my clothes.
Marshall: Babe, we need money fast.
Lily: Well, give me a week.
Marshall: Okay, a-a week.
Ted: Pulling... Them... Off.