No, seriously, Robin, you should get the slap.I mean, you're a great slapper.In fact, I want to study slapping under your tutelage.I want to be your slap-prentice.
tutelage 指導 prentice 見習い
Don't sell yourself short there, Teddy.You're a slapping rock star.Your name should be Eric Slap-ton.
Okay, okay, guys, this is torture.Just put me in the chair
and get it over with!
get it over with とにかく済ませる
Okay, he's all yours.
No, no, no, no.It's you, I insist.
Okay, I'll do it.
I'm just saying, I'll slap him.
What, so that's just, like, the end of the discussion?
Well, you said I could slap him.
Uh I was just being nice.If anyone's gonna slap him, it's gonna be me.
I was just being nice 社交辞令だ
No, it's not.
This is interesting.
Lily, he's family, okay? And I'm sorry, but you just don't cut off family.
Well, that's easy for you to say when you come from the most ridiculously close family in the world.
We are not ridiculously close.
What about the Eriksen family dinner every single Sunday?
Everything looks delicious, Mother Eriksen.
Thank you, Papa Bear.Marshall, would you like to say grace?
Well, I would be happy to, Mother.Everyone, please join hands.Dear Lord
I'm sorry, but that's weird.
A family should be that close.And I want our future family to be that close, and that includes your dad.
I can't believe you're taking his side.
Let me be clear on this.That man will never cross the threshold into this home, ever!
It's just gonna be, like, five more minutes.
Hopefully soon, amigo.I'm fighting a losing battle with hemorrhoids here.
That's one of the diseases?
Ted, there is an hour before the sun sets, at which point, neither one of us gets to slap Barney.
So, just let me have it.I'm the one who had the idea to call the Port Authority Lost and Found.
That's a good point.Rebuttal?
I'm the one who slipped the guy a 20!
Philosophical conundrum.Idea versus execution.Please discuss at length.
Philosophical conundrum 哲学的難問 at length 詳細に
I carried that huge turkey all the way up here.
I paid for cab fare.
Well, you slept with one of my best friends!
What? You said you were okay with that.
Well, I'm not!
Well, why didn't you say something at the time?
Because I'm still in love with you!
Do you really want to slap Barney so bad that you would lie about being in love with me?
I really want to slap him, okay?
Yes, your dad has made some mistakes in the past, but he's a different person now.He's moved out of your grandparents' house.He's got a job.He's paying off his IRS debts.
Wait, how do you know all that?
Like, body language.Okay, well, yeah, we met for a drink last week.
I miss her a ton.Little princess.She ever talk about me?
Yeah.Yeah, like, all the time.Um She tells this one really sweet story about
So never, huh?
No, not a word.But it doesn't have to be that way.We can fix this, right?
You know, I always thought it'd get fixed at the wedding.I even wrote a toast.But then, no invite.Hell, I haven't even seen a wedding photo.
And then, right before my eyes, your father broke down crying.That's it! You're coming to Thanksgiving!
You invited him?
The guy was, like, blubbering.What was I going to do? And then, some jerk at the next table called him a sissy, which I thought was totally uncalled for.
blubber 泣きじゃくる sissy 女々しいやつ
I can't believe you.Marshall, what gives you the right to do that?
You and I are married.And that means he's my family, too.Mickey, come on in.
Ted, you better roll quickly.Your gallbladder's about to burst.
You know, Mickey, it's been, like, half an hour.I think we should go look for Lily.
Nah.She just needs some time to cool down.Let's finish the game.
Yeah, play another round.Best of seven!
Damn it, Robin! I've known Barney the longest.
I get to slap him.That slap is mine, Mosby.I've never slapped Barney above the waist.
Look, I've wanted to slap Barney since the moment I met him!
You don't think that I want to slap Barney? I've waited so
Wait, wait a minute.Wait a minute! This slap was supposed to be a wonderful thing, a gift, and look, it's turned us against each other.
My God, you're right.This once pure fruit has turned into a poisoned slap-ple.You know what? Seriously, you take it.
Are you sure?
I really think that we should go look for Lily.
Ted? Gallbladder about to pop.
Okay, it's decided.Barney, come on.Get in the throne.
Well, you Well, I guess that is the best decision, Robin.I mean, men are stronger than women.
Don't listen to him.Okay? It's been decided.
I mean, that's what you've always wanted, isn't it, Robin? A strong man to take care of you? I mean, sure, growing up, you were a scrapper, playing hockey with the boys, skinning your knees on the ice.But what you couldn't tell your teammates, what you couldn't even tell yourself, was that all you really wanted was that pretty, white dress in that pretty, white chapel.And at the end of that center aisle, strewn with pretty, white flowers, a man, to do all of your slapping for you.
Let me at him!
Robin! Come on! Hold on!
Oh, my God.
What just happened?
Sorry, Ted.Gallbladder burst.You move back three spaces.
You come in here, and you watch your daughter leave and you don't even care.And now you've destroyed Thanksgiving dinner! Lily worked all day on this!
Relax.It's not real bile.It's just lead-based paint from China.And horse bile.
bile 胆汁 lead-based 鉛系
And at that moment, Marshall gave Mickey a look none of us had ever seen him give anyone.
What's this? What's he doing?
Did you swallow some of that paint?
This is my you're-dead-to-me look.
Yeah, you know, Lily's is so much better
Get out of my house!