ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"please promise me you haven't already put some crazy scheme in motion."

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ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒęƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†

How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“9yŒ´‘čzMom and Dad

Two days before Barney and Robin's wedding, their reverend passed away, and the search was on for a replacement.

Oh, boy, it's the creepy, bug-eyed minister from that culty church who kept asking us if we're pure enough to die. He's our best lead. I should get this. James, unless you have a minister, I don't want to hear it.

bug-eyed o–Ú‚Ě cult ƒJƒ‹ƒg

You mean, like this one?

A few years back, Barney's brother James finally met his long-lost father, Sam, who turned out to be a reverend.

I know pronounce your asses saved.

save one's ass ‹~‚¤

Whoa!

Reverend Gibbs wouldn't be the only VIP arrival that day.

Dad!

Barney. Oh, I can't believe you're getting married. You've grown up so fast. Then again, I did miss about 30 years of your life. Did I mention we got you two things from your registry?

Hey, can we buy you guys a drink in a bit?

Sure. We'll meet you at the bar.

Yeah.

Hey. Oh. Whoa. Look. My dad hasn't seen my mom in years, not since he bailed on her.

bail on Žc‚ľ‚Ä—§‚ż‹Ž‚é

Oh, man, take it from a fellow child of divorce, this could get real messy.

take it from M‚ś‚Ä—~‚ľ‚˘

Loretta, good to see you.

You, too, Jerry.

Wow.

Yeah. Thank God, no drama.

They're in love! My mom and dad are getting back together again!

Uh-oh.

Hey, quick favor. I want to give this to Robin. Gretzky's her hero. She says his name sometimes in bed. I've accepted it. Can you, uh, hide it for me till the rehearsal dinner?

The best man is on it.

Great. Now I'm gonna go get my mom and dad back together. They're totally in love. I know. It's amazing. I'm walking on air. My family's gonna be whole again!

walk on air —L’¸“V‚Ĺ‚ ‚é

Should we stop him or something?

The best man is staying on the Gretzky thing.

You're right. That crap grows on you.

Again?

Proclaim it!

Proclaim –ž”’‚ÉŽŚ‚ˇ

Hey. So there I am, lying in the wet, filthy sand under the patio, just minding my own business, when my dad bumps into my mom, and he says-- get this... he says to her, Weather's improving, huh? It's like, why don't you just do it already? Huh?

filthy ‰˜‚ę‚˝

Barney, I know you've always dreamed of a reunited family, but... Jerry's married.

So what? Marriage is just a meaningless piece of paper.

I'm a lucky gal. Sweetie, this just isn't gonna happen. Now, please promise me you haven't already put some crazy scheme in motion.

put in motion Žn“Ž‚ł‚š‚é

I haven't put some crazy scheme in motion.

Why did you pause?

I didn't pause.

Why did you pause?!

Ah. Hey, there.

Hi. Barney texted me to meet him ASAP, but the stairs are wet.

No, broken.

Yeah, the stairs are broken.

Yeah.

I got the same text.

Barney, Jerry has a wife. Oh, God, what did you do to the wife?

So, my husband snuck off to go parasailing, and he wants me to join him?

sneak off to ‚ą‚Á‚ť‚股‚é

Yes.

Who is ready to rock it Scottish-identical-twin-brothers style? Oh, man, I hope they're not singing to the same girl. Or to each other.

Shut up! Music sucks! Scotland sucks! You suck! Just drive, pumpkin head.

Hey, guys, don't worry. Help's on the way.

Oh! Thank you, Barney.

Thank you, honey.

In the meantime, I'll try to keep you two as comfortable as possible.

I said, bang...

Well, we don't need wine.

ô Bang ô Bangity bang...

We don't need champagne, either. We need help! This could be very unsafe!

Oh. I'll say something.

No. You've had a whole lifetime of this. Let me. Oh. Barney, are you thinking you can get your mother and me back together? Because I'm married. My wife is right upstairs!

No, she's not.

What's that?

Nothing! I'm just trying to keep you refreshed through this unexpected and flukish elevator malfunction! Here's some water! Ah... drat. Clumsy hands much, Barney? Just disrobe and send up those wet clothes. You'll be cold, so I'll send down strawberry warming gel and some cozy, zippered masks.

flukish K‰^‚Č malfunction ŒĚá drat ’{ś Clumsy •sŠí—p‚Č cozy ‰ˇ‚Š‚˘

Ooh. My calligraphy ink! I mean, the Gretzky photo!

Some bastard snuck into my room and spilled ink all over the Gretzky photo I was holding for Barney. Detective Mosby is on the case.

Oh, God, that's horrible.

I know. It was a gift for Robin.

No, I mean, Oh, God, that's horrible. Detective Mosby's the worst.

Mm, Detective Mosby is the case-crackingest private dick on the scene.

dick ŒYŽ–

Really? Like that case from eight years ago you still haven't cracked?

I'm callin' it. Damn it!

My greatest failure. I will solve this case. Now, there were three people nearby when Barney gave me that head shot: Karate Kid bad boy Billy Zabka, a shifty-eyed bellhop, and Robin's cousin Claude from Quebec with the neck trouble.

head shot ł–ĘŠçŽĘ^ shifty-eyed ŒÓŽUL‚˘–ڂ‚Ť

Right, 'cause an elaborate conspiracy is much more likely than you leaving the photo next to an open ink bottle.

Thank you!

You can't even detect sarcasm! Why don't you just try to fix the photo? Don't you have ink remover?

sarcasm ”ç“÷‚ČŒž—t shifty-eyed ŒÓŽUL‚˘–ڂ‚Ť

Of course I have ink remover. I'm not one of those sloppy, punk calligraphers who's in it for glory over craft. No, we got to solve this! Now, the question is, which of those three suspects had the most cause to frame me? The one that I replaced as Barney's best man?

I'm coming for you, Mosby.

Billy Zabka!

Okay, real quick, I need fresh-cut English lavender, a copy of Shakespeare's 18th sonnet, and enough Nutella to cover a 60-year-old woman. Oh, great. You guys escaped. Got rescued! Are you okay?

A bit shaken up.

Being trapped in an elevator is scary.

No, Barney lowered in a TV showing some pretty graphic 1970s pornography.

Still, a lot of familiar faces in there. Well, not just faces.

I'm gonna go find my wife.

Nice job, bro. Mom was just about to get some action for the first time since she conceived me.

conceive g‚˛‚ŕ‚é

Barney, this has to stop. You're being delusional. Mom is not getting back together with Jerry. Because she's getting back together with my daddy!

delusional –Ď‘z‚Ě

I see what you're doing. You didn't bring your dad here to marry us. You want him to get back together with Mom! Which is completely insane, by the way.

Um, my dad's single, Mom's single. Your dad's happily married with two kids. Which one makes more sense?

I agree. It's a tie. What do we do?

You back down and let me get my mom and dad back together?

Um, how about you back down and let me get my mom and dad back together? I can already picture it.

ô We're reunited and we're going so strong ô

ô My wife died parasailing and I've moved on ô

ô And now our Barney-boy will always be near ô

ô I'll come to live with you and it won't be weird

ô Of course not, Wuv-Wuv!

ô Back together and forever we'll be ô

ô Mom

ô And Dad

ô And Barney makes three

We love you, champ!

ô And I'll live here, too, since we're married ô ô And I'm totally cool with it! ô

That's completely insane. This is how it's gonna be.

ô We're reunited and I'm feeling so glad ô

ô I'm so much sexier than Barney's dad ô

ô Back together, now our life's right on track ô

ô But she's banging my dad behind your dad's back ô

ô When you're at work, I'm all over her rack ô

ô That's not true ô

ô Yes, it is

ô That's not funny ô

ô Mom, break the news

ô Okay, we're screwin' like bunnies ô

ô I'll kick your ass ô

ô I'd like to see you try ô

ô Well, my dad would win in a fight ô

ô No, my dad would win in a fight ô

ô No

ô Yeah ô My dad would win ô Yeah ô In a fight ô Yeah!

No, my dad would win in a fight!

Nuh-uh!

Uh-huh!

Don't fight!

I'm marrying into this family.

Stop. You stupid!

I won't stop.

”F‚ß‚ë

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