Narator:Kids, I never wouldn't met your mother without a little luck Specifically the luck of the Irish Saint Patrick's Day The one day of the year when every young person in New York Go out and gets crazy Really Crazy Okay, maybe not that crazy But by 2008, we'd all had enough. Well, most of us.
Barney:Who wants to kiss the Barney Stone?
Lily:Look, it's the Riddler.
Marshall:That's not the Riddler. That's Gumby. Hey, Gumby, can we tie you in a knot later?
Ted:Hey, NBA player sidelined by a knee injury?
Barney:All right, laugh all you want, but this is my lucky St. Patty's Day suit. I have dry-cleaned many a stain off of this baby. You know why it's lucky? 'Cause it's green, the color of go, as in let's.
Ted:Uh, Barney, we, uh... we talked this over, and, uh, we're not doing St. Patty's Day this year.
Barney:Come on. Let's... Are you s... Wow. Okay. I think I got to lie down.
Marshall:Can we shoot pool on you?
Barney:No! No! Unacceptable! That's so not Raven! What are you gonna do instead?
Marshall:We just got the keys to our new apartment, so we're gonna go over there and hang up that painting, have board game night. You're welcome to join us if you want.
Barney:Board game night?! Board game night. Come on! Let's drink green beer. Let's do green Jell-O shots! Where's your St. Patty's Day spirit?!
Lily:We're drinking green tea.
Ted:Sorry, Peter. We're grown-ups now. We can't fly off to Neverland with you anymore.
Barney:All right, fine. You know what? I'll celebrate St. Patty's Day by myself. I don't need you people. You make me physically ill.
Lily:He did look a little green.
Marshall:Hello? Hey, happy St. Patty's Day! How are you? Yeah, I haven't talked to you forever.
Lily:Who is it?
Marshall:It's Ted's butt.
Ted:Ah, damn it! My phone keeps pocket-dialing! That's, like, the eighth time today.
Marshall:In fairness, I did call Ted's butt at, like, 2:00 this afternoon.
in fairness 公正な立場で言うならば
Lily:It took long enough to call you back.
Ted:Barney, where are you?
Barney:In a cab, heading downtown with our hot and sexy dates for the evening. Yes, it happens that fast! We're going to that club Low Point, and you're coming with us.
Ted:Barney, for the last time...
Barney:All right, I didn't want to tell you this in front of Marshall and Lily because they're old and married, and it's too late for them anyway, but Ted, the world is going to come to an end tonight. Yes. Think about it. End of the world, Nostradamus. Notre Dame. Fighting Irish. Irish. St. Patrick's Day. This is it, bro. Bro-pocalypse Now. Bromageddon. Ted, you are young, you're single. You'll have so much more fun with me. Do you really want to spend your last night on Earth playing board games with Marshall and Lily?
Marshall:My hands smell weird. Smell this.
Lily:Yeah, they do. That's new.
Ted:I'll be there in five minutes.
Barney:Yes! All right! He's in! Ted's a great guy. Y... You're gonna love him.
Narator:So on March 17, 2008, I went to a big St. Patrick's Day party. And it's a good thing I did, because, funny story: your mother was there.
Barney:Hi. Have you met Ted?
Mary:Hi. I'm Mary.
Ted:Hi. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Stephanie:I haven't met Ted, either. I'm Stephanie. Hi.
Barney:Dude, back off. I called dibs on Stephanie.
Ted:Okay. Mary's hot.
Barney:Well, then I want Mary.
Barney:Oh, I see. Reverse psychology. Then I'm sticking with Stephanie, Dr. Freud.
Barney:Which one do you want more?
Barney:I want them both.
Ted:You're an idiot, and it may be a moot point. I mean, it doesn't look like we're getting in. Look at this. You know why there's a line? It's because I ditched Marshall and Lily, and now the universe is punishing us for it, that's why.
moot point 論点 ditch から逃げる
Barney:Yeah. What's it gonna cost us to get in, $20? $40?
Ted:Dude, come on, you're making the wee folk look bad. Just give him your pot o' gold.
the wee folk 妖精たち
Man:Is it just you two?
Ted:Don't worry. We're not gonna blow your ratio. We happen to have two very hot girls with us.
Barney:Mine's the hotter one.
Man:Look, if it was just you two, you could go in right now. We got nothing but girls in there. People are gonna start thinking it's a lesbian bar.
Barney:Would you excuse us for just a minute? Ted, I'm gonna be honest. I was full of it with that whole Nostradamus thing.
Barney:But I am starting to think there is some serious planetary crap going on here tonight. Never in the history of New York City nightclubs has there been a shortage of dudes, not even during the Great Dude Shortage of 1883. We got to ditch these girls.
planetary 地球の ditch ふる
Ted:But you dragged them all the way down here.
Barney:I don't see no ring on this finger.
Ted:All right, hold on. Uh, excuse me? Are the girls in there hotter than our dates?
Man:I don't know if they're hotter, but they're drunker.
Ted:Rock 'n' roll.
Marshall:Welcome to your dream home, my lady.
Lily:All right, all right. You can put me down. Robin thinks we're weird.
Robin:No, it's fine. It was only weird on the subway.
Lily:Oh. I'm gonna check the other rooms to see if the previous owners left us any free stuff.
Marshall:I'm gonna hang our first piece of art. Oh, look, there's already a nail. Hey, Lil, free nail!
Marshall:Oh, now this is ridiculous. Is it the nail?
Marshall:Is the wall slippery or something?
Marshall:Is there a wind? Is there some sort of draft in here?
Robin:Your apartment's crooked.
Marshall:What do you mean?
Narator:It was the kind of thing you didn't notice until you noticed it. But once you did notice it, you couldn't not notice it. Lily and Marshall's new apartment was crooked.
Marshall:Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no! Oh, no, no. Oh, no.
Marshall:Are you telling me that we just spent our entire life savings and then some on... on a crooked apartment?
Lily:Oh, my God!
Marshall:No, she's gonna flip.
Robin:Just calm down.
Lily:It's gonna be fine. Look what I found in the kids' room! Free skateboard. Score! Free Hungry Hungry Hippos. Double score! I'm gonna check the kitchen!
Robin:Okay. How could she not notice this? It's like the last 20 minutes of Titanic in here.
Marshall:We have to keep this quiet. If Lily finds out her new dream house is crooked, it's gonna... it's gonna break her heart.
Lily:Free salad strainer! I love this place.
Marshall:Just for tonight, okay?
Robin:Okay. But it's gonna be an uphill battle. I am just saying we have to think of the right angle. I have a third one, but I'm not gonna say it.
uphill battle 苦しい戦い