Narator: Kids, in the spring of 2007, everything was great between me and Robin. So we decided to try and make it even better.We decided to move in together.
Ted: So, I can have the moving truck here by 8:00 am. Does that sound good to everybody?
Barney: By the way, what are you guys doing with Ted's room? 'Cause if you need help with the rent, I'll take it.
Lily: Why would you want to live with us?
Barney: I don't call what you guys do "living." Here's the deal, I need a room closer to the bar. It takes me exactly 23 minutes to get a girl from the bar back to my apartment. A lot can go wrong in 23 minutes.
Girl: This is going to be so hot.
Barney: She's paying.
Girl 2: I swear, if he doesn't call me back, I'm going to go through with this.
Barney: Please hurry, sir.
Girl 2: I want to do dirty stuff with you. Stuff I won't let him do.
Barney: Every red light run is an extra $20.
Girl 2: Baby? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It was all my fault.
Girl 3: I am so drunk. When I'm this drunk, I go crazy!
Barney: I bet you do.
I bet you do どうだか
Girl 3: Check this out. What up NYPD?
Barney: So close.
Barney: See? If I had a room here all I have to do is get them upstairs. Come on, guys. It'll be great! We'll come in after you guys are asleep and I'll be gone before you wake up.
Lily: So, you get to have sex and we get to wake some skanky girl up in the morning and kick her out?
Barney: God, Lily. Some guy just told her that he loved her then pretended to go to the bathroom and never came back you can't make her a cup of coffee? Real nice.
Lily: I put all your heavy jackets in this box marked "winter." And all your colorful sweaters in this box marked "Bill Cosby."
Ted: Make fun, but America loved that guy for a reason. Wow! Almost done.
Marshall: Not so fast. Take your sword.
Marshall: Yeah. It's a bummer to break up the set, but you're going to need that sword.
Robin: It's true my building is infested with dragons.
Marshall: Looks like our little boy is finally moving out.
Lily: It seems like just yesterday he was a cute little freshmen. Discovering Reggae and ultimate Frisbee.
Marshall: He did it later than the other kids but we never pushed him. We knew he'd get there.
Barney: You haven't moved in yet, have you? Good. You guys have to take this quiz. I found it in a magazine. It's called the "Are you ready to move in together?" quiz.
Robin: Well, if it's anything like you're "Are you wearing panties" quiz, I'm out.
Barney: Question one, Ted, "Do you want to move in with Robin?"
Ted: Mm. Yes.
Barney: Oh, you got the first one wrong. The answer is "no," you secretly want to be single and hang out with your awesome friend Barney." Question two. Robin, "Do you think you can score a hotter guy than Ted?" Correct. The answer was awkward silence. Question three, "Did I just make up this quiz to prove a point?" Yes. Yes, I did.
Robin: Really? You mean it's not from Old Yellow Legal Pad Magazine?
Barney: So? We all agree? We move Ted's stuff back up here?
Ted: Mm... no.We're still moving in together.
Barney: Why? This is crazy. Ted you're throwing your life away. This girl is blinding you. With her shiny hair and her boobed shaped boobs.This is bad for you, too, you know. How are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup?
Robin: I'm not wearing makeup right now.
Barney: Holy crap, you're beautiful. All right then, how will you feel when you can't sneak the occasional cigarette?
Ted: Oh, come on, Robin doesn't smoke. Wait, do you?
Robin: Of course not.Why? Don't tell me how to live my life!
Barney: Ted, I can't let you do this.
Ted: Come on. This is happening. So instead of fighting it why, why don't you just help?
Barney: You want me to help you?
Barney: Okay, Ted. I'll help you.
Ted: Can't believe we actually got him to take a box down. Maybe he's finally getting on board.
Marshall: Where's the truck?
Ted: Where's Barney?
Robin: Wait for it.
Ted: I can't believe this!Everything I own in the world is in there.Except for this box of pot lids.
Marshall: And the sword.
Ted: I'm going to kill him.I swear to God I'm going to kill him!
Marshall: Right .Maybe I'll just hold on to that. For now.
Lily: Marshall, we live alone.
Marshall: This is so great! We can finally do all the things we always said we wanted to do if we lived alone.
Lily: Oh, I know what I want to start with.
Marshall: So, here we are, right? Sitting around the apartment naked. Awesome.
Marshall: It's not as awesome as I thought it would be.
Lily: My butt itches.
Marshall: I'm cold.
Lily: I noticed.
Marshall: Yeah, like you're one to talk, Pointy.
You're one to talk. あなたにもそんなところがありますよ。
Ted: Barney, I don't know if you got my other 47 messages, but if my stuff isn't here within the hour I'm calling the cops.This is the last time I'm calling you. Because my charger's in the back of the truck.
Robin: Don't worry, it's Barney. He'll bring the stuff back.
Ted: No, it's just...I was really looking forward to settling in, you know? Maybe setting up my TV. Watching a movie in bed. What?
Robin: Do we really want a TV in the bedroom?
Ted: I thought we did.
Robin: I'm not sure that we do.
Ted: Well, where else would we put my TV?
Robin: We could just put it in our storage unit in the basement.
Ted: But wouldn't we miss my TV?
Robin: Would we?
Ted: Yes, we would. We've had that TV for a long time and we would feel more at home if it were setup in our bedroom.
Robin: We need wine, don't we?
Ted: Yes, we do.
Marshall: Should we, um, move this to the bedroom?
Lily: Why? Ted doesn't live here anymore. We can do it wherever we want.
Marshall: You know what else? We don't have to be quiet anymore.We can be as loud as we want.
Lily: Okay, I think we need to lay down some ground rules.Just because we can be loud doesn't mean we have to be loud.And although it might turn you on, you screaming, "I'm the best," doesn't do much for me.
Marshall: Well, it's a lot better than yelling, "Ted's not here," over and over again.
Lily: Well, at least what I said is true.
Marshall: Well, that was unnecessary.