ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"I am a person who Well, let's just face it."

ƒe[ƒuƒ‹‚̉ş

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How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“4yŒ´‘čzHappily Ever After

Michael sat next to me in freshman biology.He had been a bit of a loser all through middle school, but the summer before ninth grade, he grew 12 inches and joined the baseball team.He was right on the precipice of becoming one of the cool kids.Until one day.

precipice ’fŠREâ•Ç

We've all been there.When you've ripped one, it's not pretty.

rip `–\‚­

What did you do?

Are you kidding? This was ninth grade.I only had one choice.

Oh, my God, Sasser.Fart much?

fart ‚¨‚Ȃ炡‚é

No, it wasn't me.It was her.

As if, Sasser.More like Gasser.Gasser!

I'm on the baseball team.I'm cool.

The nickname Gasser stuck.He got teased so much, eventually he had to change schools.

get teased ‚Š‚ç‚Š‚í‚ę‚é

Kids are awesome.

I've always felt awful about that.But if Gasser Michael walked in right now, as hard as it would be, I would go up to Gasser Michael and I would resolve things between us.

Right, clear the air, as it were.Oh, man.Those don't come around often.Y'all are welcome.

Hey, are you guys okay?

Oh, yeah.We're just gonna be eating down here if that's okay.

Well, here's your almonds.

Thanks you guys have any specials today?

Ted, this is ludicrous.

ludicrous ‚΂Š‚°‚˝

Ted, I am a person who Well, let's just face it.There are a lot of people I don't want to see people of the "chicks I banged" persuasion but if any of them were to walk in here, I would stand up, and I would look them right in the eye.Some of them for the very first time.

Let's face it. –Ú‚đ‚ť‚ç‚ľ‚Ä‚ŕŽd•ű‚Č‚˘AŽó‚Ż“ü‚ę‚悤 persuasion ŕ“ž—Í

Really, you wouldn't hide from anyone? Not even, say Becca Delucci?

You son of a bitch.

Who's Becca Delucci?

Do you mind?

So, who is Becca Delucci?

Becca is just this girl who lives upstate.I used to visit her now and again.

Where exactly upstate, Barney?

Bedford Hills Federal Penitentiary.

And yes, the visits were of a conjugal nature.

conjugal •v•w‚Ě

No way, really?

Really.And what I had with Becca was a perfect relationship.She was only allowed, by law, to call me once a week.If she ever got clingy, the armed guards stopped her.And I never had to pay for dinner.Well, that's not true.I pay taxes.Then again, I guess we all paid for dinner.Thanks a lot, guys.Anyway, the last time I visited, I kind of screwed things up.

clingy ‘Ě‚É‚Ň‚Á‚˝‚č‚ľ‚˝

I know it's hard, baby, but I'm in a prison, too.A prison of my own heart.Is that room ready yet or what? Can we? Tick-tock.

Barney, you're the only thing that's keeping me going here.

That's what I'm here for, baby.I'm your rock.I'm oh, my God.Hello, strange.Barney Stinson, attorney at law.Let's talk about getting you off.

Oh, hell, no!

Now I get letters from Becca and she's all, "I'm coming to get you the day I get out of here.I'm gonna hang your eyes from my rearview mirror." Women, huh?

See? You're scared of Becca.Lily's scared of Gasser.We're staying under the table.

We don't have to.Stella's gone.

Oh, my gosh.

There, all done, and that's how we do it Ohio style.Problem showed up.We avoided it.It went away.Now we can enjoy our meal in peace and...

show up `‚É‘Ĺ‚żŸ‚Â

She's back.

Ted, we all think that you need Wait, where's Barney?

We all think that you need to go talk to her.

I don't.

What?

Yeah, if the last person I wanted to see walked through the door, I wouldn't say a damn word.

Really?

And who's that?

My father.

You guys, that other table is off the hook.What are we talking about?

off the hook °‚ç‚ľ‚˘

Robin's dad.

I haven't spoken to him in three years and I don't intend to start now.

intend `‚ˇ‚é‚‚ŕ‚č‚Ĺ‚ ‚é

Why?

It goes back to the day I was born.You give me my son now.Push.

He wanted a son and the fact that I was a girl didn't change his plan.

What do you mean?

My full legal name is Robin Charles Scherbatsky, Jr.And it only gets worse from there.

When I was eight, he took me hunting for the first time.

I don't want to shoot a deer.

Nonsense, R.J.Shooting deer is the noblest of pursuits.

noblest of pursuits Ĺ‚ŕ’‚‚ČŽď–Ą

But they're cute.

You said the same thing about our rabbits.Remember how delicious they were?

Over the years, as my body developed.

Hold on a sec. Sorry, go on.

It became harder and harder for him to pretend I was a boy.

The lowest moment came when I turned 14.My peewee hockey team had just won the Squamish Invitational and everyone came back to my house to celebrate.

You lads availed yourself splendidly out there on the ice.Splendidly.You go on outside.I'll come back with an assortment of soft drinks and American pretzels.

lad ­”N splendidly —§”h‚É assortment of `‚ĚŽć‚č‡‚í‚š

I can't believe you missed that last empty-netter, you hoser.

hoser ƒJƒiƒ_lE–ě˜Y

You're the hoser.

No, you're the hoser.

What are you doing? You're teammates, hockey players.Teammates don't kiss! Hockey players don't kiss! Oh, my God.I have no son.

You poor thing.To have to grow up in Canada with America right there.

That sucks about your dad, Robin, but congratulations on that game.

And Kyle and I weren't even doing anything serious.We only went to the blue line.

blue line?

Yeah, you know how when you're a kid, you put everything into hockey terms? The blue line is kissing, the red line is getting naked, and I think "in the crease" speaks for itself.Anyway, after that, my relationship with my dad pretty much went north.I moved in with my mom, grew my hair out, became a Canadian pop star.You know, normal teen stuff.

Don't you think it would feel better to talk to him about all this?

No, that's the point.It wouldn't solve anything.It's in the past.It's done.I mean, what would I even say to him? I wish you hadn't raised me as a boy? I wish you hadn't taught me how to hunt and fish and smoke cigars and drink Scotch because that's not what girls do.And you know the reason I throw like a girl, Dad, is because I am a girl.

You held onto that for a long time?

Yeah.

It really messed you up.

Yeah.

That sucks.

I'm sorry.

It's hot.

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