Narator: Kids, when it comes to love, the best relationships are the ones that just come naturally.
when it comes to 〜のことになると、〜に関して言えば come naturally to にとって容易である、性に合う
Ted: My first solo batch.
Victoria: Um, I think those need to stay in the oven a while longer. Here's a professional tip. If it's still runny, it's not a cupcake. It's a beverage.
runny 流れやすい、粘性が低い beverage 飲み物
Narator: Yeah, well, things with Victoria were fun, and easy, and uncomplicated. It was pretty great.
Barney: Um, are you coloring in your butt?
Marshall: I have a big interview coming up, and my suit has holes in it. I can't sew, I don't own Navy boxers, so, yeah, I'm coloring in my butt.
Barney: So wear another one.
Marshall: I don't have another one. I'm flat broke. My only other suit options are track or birthday.
flat broke 全く一文無しになって track or birthdayTrack suit =exercise clothes for running on the track...like sweatpants and sweatshirt Birthday suit =the suit you were born with...naked!
Barney: Dude, you show up to an interview in that, even the hippie lawyers from Granola Mountain Earth Pals will hackey sack you straight out the door.
hackey sack ハキーサック go straight out the door あっさりと出ていく
Marshall: Okay, it's the National Resource Defense Council, and it's my dream job. Except it's only an internship, and I won't be getting paid. Mostly getting people coffee. But the people I'm getting coffee for... their bosses are going to save the world.
Barney: Okay, tomorrow... oh, and I should mention this is going to rock your world-- tomorrow I'm taking you to my personal tailor.
Marshall: A tailor? Barney, I make negative $300 a week, and I need every negative penny of that for my wedding.
Barney: Relax, my guy does everything for one third the cost. And there is no way you're getting married in that sarcastic-quotation-marks "suit." Tomorrow, noon, my tailor.
sarcastic 皮肉な quotation mark クォーテーションマーク
Marshall: No thanks, dude. Noon?
Barney: Noon. See you then.
Victoria: Hey, girls.
Robin and Lily: Hey.
Victoria: Hey. I'm on my way to meet Ted. It's our two monthiversary, so we're going out to dinner.
monthiversary =monthly anniversary
Robin: Great! Well, that answers all the questions I didn't ask.
Robin: Oh, come on. We bust on each other. We're just at that place in our strong friendship.
Victoria: Really? Oh.
Robin: Get off me. Oh, see? I did it again.
Victoria: What are you guys up to? Oh, dress shopping. You know, I make wedding cakes for a lot of fancy bridal shops. If you want, I could take you shopping, maybe get you a discount.
Lily: Really? That'd be great.
Victoria: Yeah. Huh. I should take this. Hello.
Robin: Hey, I thought it was going to be just us tomorrow. What's with inviting Punky Brewster?
Lily: Robin, you've got to get over this Ted and Victoria thing. You had your chance, and now he's moved on. Can't you just be happy for them?
Robin: The best I can give you is a fake smile and dead eyes.
Lily: Sold. Victoria, what's wrong?
Victoria: I've just been offered a fellowship at a culinary institute in Germany.
fellowship 仲間同士、交際、友情 culinary 料理の、台所の institute 設ける、制定する
Ted: Wait. Germany, Europe?
Victoria: It's for two years. I figured I didn't have much of a chance, 'cause they don't let many Americans in, but... I'm in.
Ted: So, this is the Europe Germany?
Victoria: What other Germany would it be?
Ted: The one in Epcot?
Ted: Sorry. Congratulations.
Victoria: Thank you. I don't know if I'm going to go.
Ted: Mm-hmm. And if you do, what does that mean for us?
Victoria: I don't know. I just... I don't think that long distance really works for anyone.
Ted: Oh, God, no. Long-distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.
Victoria: So, that leaves us with...
Ted: Either you stay here, or we break up. Wow. Um, look, let's just see how things progress, and if by September, we still feel...
Victoria: I have to leave on Monday.
Ted: Monday, September the...?
Victoria: Ted. Do you have any thoughts?
Ted: Maybe we should each take some time to think about what we want. We'll meet up tomorrow to discuss it.
Victoria: It's a date.
Narator: And that's when things got complicated. Marshall is At Barney's tailor / Lily is shopping for her wedding dress with Victoria and Robin
Marshall: Hey, baby, how's the dress place?
Lily: Everything's so fluffy and white. It's like shopping in a marshmallow. How's Barney's tailor?
Marshall: Um, everything here is dark and sketchy and seems illegal. It's like shopping in Barney's mind.
Lily: Well, good luck, baby.
Marshall: Bye. Hey, Barney, I'm not sure about this. A tailor in the back room of a pet store?
Barney: Look, do you want a quality suit and a free rabbit or not? Ted, Sergei says stop moping around. You're distracting him from his process.
mope around 元気なく動き回る、うじうじする distracting 気晴らしになる
Marshall: You speak Ukrainian?
Ted: Guys, I'm kind of screwed here. I don't want to lose Victoria, but I can't ask her to stay just for me. And long distance definitely isn't an option.
Marshall: No. No, no, no. No way. You know who likes long distance? Girls. It's all talking and no sex. Kill me now.
Barney: Don't knock long-distance relationships. I really think they can work.
Ted: Really? You?
Barney: Absolutely. I'm juggling four right now. There's Lisa in Madrid, there's Erica in Tokyo, there's Laura in Denmark, and Kelly on 34th Street. The lass thinks I'm a humble sheep shearer from Killarney.
juggle 欺く、ごまかす、策略を巡らす humble sheep へりくだった羊 shearer 毛を刈る人
Marshall: Ted, do you remember in college when Lily did that summer art program in Paris?
Marshall: Well, she kept talking about this cheesy French guy, Gabriel. So, I went out to visit, and there was this party. And who shows up but Gabriel. And he's got this weak-ass, thin French moustache. I'm not much of a fighter, but I knew I could take this weird little dude. So, I took him aside, and I got all creepy quiet, I got the crazy eyes going, and I said, "You stay away from Lily, or I swear to God I'll eat that moustache right off of your ugly French face." Yeah. Yeah, he literally ran away. I think he was crying. I never told Lily about it. To be honest, I'm not very proud of it. To be even more honest, I am.
cheesy 趣味の悪い not much of a 大した〜でない literally 文字通りに
Ted: Um, other than confirming a lot of European stereotypes about Americans, did that little story have a point?
Marshall: Yeah, the point is that even though Lily is my soul mate, long distance still almost killed us. If you think that there's any chance that Victoria is your soul mate, you should ask her to stay.
Ted: Well, I don't know if she is. It's still so early, but yeah, she could be.
Marshall: Oh, please. You barely know this girl. What's her favorite color? Is she a cat person or a dog person? Is she open to a three-way? Ted, I do more research than this before buying a cell phone. FYI, yes, I have three-way calling.
Ted: Look, she can't be a cat person. I'm a dog person, I'm attracted to other dog people.
Barney: Are you sure?
Ted: All right.
Ted: Hey, random question. How do you feel about cats?
Victoria: Cats. Hated the musical, love the animal.
Ted: Good to know. Um, okay. Good-bye. She's a cat person. I don't know this girl at all.
Barney: Oh, excellent. We'll take this one.
Marshall: Whoa. Hey, hey, it's my suit. Shouldn't I be the one to choose?
Barney: Here. Play with this pin cushion.
Marshall: God. I'm going to look hot.
Barney: Marshall, I can't let you waste a suit this nice fighting a losing battle for our planet's survival. This is a suit for winners. I am getting you an interview at my office. We need good men like you in our legal department. We get sued a lot.
get sued 訴えられる
Marshall: No way. The Kid does not sell out.
Barney: Oh, come on, dude! Three months working with me, you'll make more than Lily makes in a year.
Marshall: No. I've made my decision.
Ted: So have I. If I ask this girl to give up her dreams for me, and two weeks later, it's not working out, I'm, like, the biggest jerk of all time. It's just too much pressure on a new relationship. I'm going to tell her to go.