Narator: About hangovers - everyone has their own special remedy.
hangover 二日酔い remedy 治療
Waiter: Morning guys, what can I get you?
Lily: Shhh! Bring me the dirtiest, greasiest tuna melt you got. And a milkshake.
dirtiest 極めて greasiest 脂っこい
Waiter: For you, sir?
Waiter: You want that gravy on something?
Ted: Surprise me.
Robin: I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here! Just kidding. I'm good.
Lily: What are you chirpy about?
Ted: She's still drunk from last night.
Robin: I don't think so! Whoo!
Ted: Look, if you want Marshall back so bad, how come it took you two days to ask about him?
Lily: I was dying to ask. I was just trying to play it cool. But really...
Robin: But it's good, I mean work's great...
Lily: Say something about Marshall. Where is Marshall? How's Marshall? What's Marshall doing right now? Shut up and talk about Marshall. Shut up and talk about Marshall! Shut up and talk about Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! Aaah I gotta ask! And, hey, how is Marshall?
Lily: It was such an awful summer! I just wanted to get back here and see him.
Ted: But I thought your summer was great?!
Lily: Not exactly...
Man: Oh my God! This is your best work?! In all my years teaching I've never seen something so... needless. To say this is art... I can't teach you anything.
Ted: So all those interesting people you met on the bus...?
Lily: Yeah, um...
Man: I'm Mike. I'm a Buddhist monk slash adventure writer travel. I'm Paula. I sing in a punk band for children. I'm Dan. I'm a neurosurgeon. You are stunning, by the way.
Lily: I never got in touch because I was too embarrassed. I screwed everything up. I have no job, no place to live. I lost the love of my life. Look, I know I have no right to ask this but do you think Marshall would take me back?
Ted: In a heartbeat. If you called him up, yeah, he'd take you back with open arms.
In a heartbeat すぐに、直ちに
Lily: Wow. So, maybe I should call him?
Ted: Maybe. No! This is... Ooww... Hold on. Look. If you're gonna go back to him, I don't wanna hear the word "maybe". "Maybe" cannot be in your vocabulary. This break-up almost killed him. And he cannot go through it again. So, unless you're absolutely certain, stay the hell away from him.
Robin: This guy like pennies!
Barney: Hi Marshall.
Marshall: No, go away, I don't want to talk to you.
Barney: OK. I know what I did a couple nights back was is in a moral grey area. But the great news is she loved you. If things had gone your way, you'd gone out a couple time, I think she definitely would've had sex with you.
Marshall: There is no "would" in sex. There totally is. I'm just no good at this Barney! I'm good at being in a couple. I'm good at being Lily's boyfriend. Being single, forget it.
Barney: You can't give up now. What if I told you that you could relive that night with the exact same conversations, the exact same jokes, only this time you get her and I don't.
Marshall: That's not possible.
Barney: Oh, but it is. She has... Wait for it. Here it comes. Almost there...an identical twin. Yes!
Marshall: A twin isn't the same person.
Barney: Of course, it is. What do you think "identical" means? "Ident-" - same. "-ical" - person. Same person. Hey, we could double date.
Marshall: But you have to promise me you're not gonna steal my new twin and leave me with your old, used-up twin.
Barney: Used-up? They're a human being Marshall.
Narator: So Uncle Marshall and Uncle Barney went out on a double date with the twins.
Barney: How are you doing?
Marshall: Great. Amazing. This is so much fun. Me and the girl are really clicking.
Barney: You are. You definitely are. Listen, you're gonna have to leave now. I just talked with the twins and, get this, I'm going home with both of them! Yeah. That's happening.
Marshall: It is impossible that you're doing this to me again.
Barney: But they're twins.
Marshall: You said to me that being single would be like being in a candy store.
Barney: Well, it's not like a candy store. It's a lawless, post-apocalyptic wasteland. I may be your best friend...
lawless 手に負えない post-apocalyptic 世界滅亡後の wasteland 荒れ地
Marshall: Ted's my best friend.
Barney:...but in this world it's every hombre for himself. That's what being single is. And after nine years of captivity, that is the single greatest lesson I can teach you about surviving in the wild. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have two unique breasts an two duplicates waiting for me. Oh bad news. Marshall got food poisoning.
hombre やつ、あいつ captivity 監禁
Twin 2:That's so bad. I really liked him.
Barney: Yeah. I guess we're just a threesome tonight.
Marshall: Lily. What are you doing here?
Lily: Oh, I-I was just walking by. I wasn't... Oh, you mean, New-York? My program ended. It was just great. Just lots of fun. It was awful. It was the worst mistake I ever made. I'm so sorry Marshall. And, hello.
Marshall: Lily, this was the worst summer of my life.
Lily: I know. It was the worst summer of my life.
Marshall: It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.
Lily: Can we please get back together?
Marshall: All that crap you said to me about "we need to figure out who we are outside of us, and we need to learn to do things on our own.". It broke my heart. Three months ago, you broke my heart.
Lily: Can we please get back together?
Marshall: Lily, you were right. All that crap was right. So, no. No, we can't get back together. We shouldn't. At least, not right now.
Lily: Wow. OK. Yeah. Wi... Will we still see each other?
Marshall: Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I don't know. This is all really new to me. I just got out of a long relationship. I like your hair.
new to me 私はよく知らない、私には初耳である
Lily: Thanks. I, uh, figured, new city, new color - uh, old color. And the pizza there. Worst pizza ever! I'm so glad to be back in New-York.
Lily: Listen, if there is anything I can do to even begin to make things up to you.
Marshall: Actually, there's maybe something you can do for me. But you can never ever ask me why.
Barney: So then, I was promoted to assistant manage-er. Manager. Why do I keep doing that? Lily?
Lily: You gave me Chlamydia, you jerk!
Barney: So, where was I? Ah yes. Assistant manage-er. I did it again. I can't believe it!
Lily: You gave my twin sister Chlamydia! You slime!
Barney: Wait, wait, I know magic. Well played, Eriksen. Well played.
Well played おー君うまいねー