同意
海外ドラマで英語リスニング学習中
Kids, the summer of 2012 was the Summer of Love.Barney and Quinn, me and Victoria, Robin and Nick, Lily, Marshall and Marvin.Everyone was happy as can be.Which means there are absolutely no good stories.Let's skip ahead to October 2012, the official kick-off of what came to be known as the Autumn of Breakups.It all started when Barney got a little friendly advice from a coworker.
Get a prenup, or I'll neuter you before she ever has a chance!
prenup 結婚前の neuter 去勢手術を行う
First of all, if you have an onion bagel, you don't need scallion cream cheese.Secondly, Quinn is a great girl.I trust her.
Oh, Darlene was a great girl.I trusted her.And then she took everything! My house, my car my dog Tugboat.I even lost out with the kids.Full custody! I got full custody of those kids!
Your kids are horrible.
The worst.Barney, I watched as Darlene cut everything good out of my life like a deranged surgeon hacking out organs, and that's not a metaphor.She got one of my kidneys.That's her ringtone.I have nothing left to give you, Darlene!
deranged 精神が錯乱した
You won't believe what Barney did today.
You won't believe what Quinn did today.
Hey, you ready for lunch?
Hey, there she is.The future Mrs.Barney Stinson.You better enjoy signing your name Quinn Garvey while you still can, right? Like, I don't know here, here, here, initial here
What is this?
Oh, this is our prenup.Black or blue? Totally up to you.
Um, can I read it first?
Can you believe that? He wants me to sign a prenup!
Can you believe that? She wants to read it first!
Just go ahead and sign.It's all pretty standard.
In the event of divorce, Mr.Stinson is granted weekly visitation rights to Ann, Sarah and Molly.You named our future kids? That's actually pretty sweet.
Those are Mr.Stinson's names for your lady parts.
It's important for the girls to maintain a relationship with their daddy.
You named her lady parts?
Everyone does that.
So Lily?
Snap, Crackle, Pop.
Solid.
Wait.Is this prenup in any way legit? I mean, so far, it sounds a lot like that bar napkin document you make one-night stands sign, promising not to get clingy.
get clingy べたべたする
The Pre-Shtup, patent pending.God, I come up with a lot of good stuff!
Anyway, I realize these aren't just terms for divorce, so I ask
Are these rules for how I have to behave in our marriage?
Rules? Suggestions.Rich people and celebrities put stuff like this in their prenups all the time.And those are the marriages that last.
I have to pay $2,000 every time I gain a pound?
Not every time.Just if it shows up at the weekly weigh-in.
See, you can't do that.
Miss Garvey must invent 12 new sexual positions per year, at least ten of which involve her doing all or most of the work.
You definitely can't do that.
Hm-mm.
Miss Garvey's breasts must be enhanced every five years or 50,000 honka-honkas, whichever comes first.
enhance 増進する
That's actually not bad.
I'll allow it.
That's repulsive.And,why do men think women like to be honka-honka'd?
repulsive ひどく不快な
What woman wants her breasts squeezed like a seal horn?
Um totally.
Lily like-a-like-a the honka-honka.
All hair below the neck must be removed weekly.
Hey, you're gonna be thanking me for that hair loss during the weigh-in.
Miss Garvey's parents may stay at our place as long as they like.Well, at least that one's nice.Provided they each arrive in an urn.
Wives two through eight will make a weekly chore wheel.
chore 雑用
I'm sorry, I borrowed a few sections from a prenup I did for a Saudi Arabian sultan.I'll cross out the extra wives stuff.
Unless
Cross it out.
My God! What the hell does Barney think marriage is going to be like, anyway?
Just a healthy, modern-day marriage, based on mutual respect between two equals.
Ready for your wake-up lap dance, Master?
Aren't you forgetting something?
Oh, my God, it's 9:00 a.m.
Legally mandated morning pillow fight time!
Best husband ever.
Best husband ever.
Best husband ever.
Aw.Best husband e Sorry, sorry, we crossed out the wives two through eight stuff.Unless
Nope.
Okay.
Don't worry.I crossed it out.I didn't really cross it out.
I can hear you.
I'll cross it out.I didn't really cross it out.
Hey, hey Hey, guys, what's up?
Oh, Quinn's pissed because Barney wants her to sign a crazy prenup.
But is it really crazy?
Yes.
Well, I'm new to this but guessing yes.
Okay, look.Did I go a speck of sand, a fairy eyelash, a unicorn whisper too far? Perhaps.But can you tell me there's nothing in any of your relationships you'd want to change? No behavior you'd want to outlaw? No terms you'd want to renegotiate? Look me in the eye and tell me I'm crazy.
renegotiate 再交渉する
You're crazy.
But a funny thing happened that night.
Look, I'm not saying he's right, but Barney does have a little bit of a point.
But on this one, he may have a point.I mean, look the idea of renegotiating the terms of the relationship, that's valid.
No.There isn't anything about you that I'd want to change.Well, okay, maybe a couple of things.
Like what?
And just like that one of these four couples would break up the very next day.Okay, it wasn't Lily and Marshall.One of these three couples would break up the very next day.
What happened?
So last night Nick was all like, Barney has a point about renegotiating the terms of the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, and Marshall was all like, Uh, I want to blah, of the blah, uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
If I shut my eyes it's like they're here.
They're just using Barney's prenup as a way to complain about us.
I'm just saying, you've forbidden certain things that I might like to revisit.
Marshall, you're not going on a Sasquatch hunt in Oregon with a bunch of loonies.
loony 変人
Loonies? Those brave, bearded men and women are crypto-zoologists, and they deserve the respect that title commands.But that's not what I was thinking of.You're too precious with the baby.