ˆø‚Á‰z‚µ
ŠCŠOƒhƒ‰ƒ}‚ʼnpŒêƒŠƒXƒjƒ“ƒOŠwK’†
In the fall of 2011, Lily and Marshall received a surprising gift from Lily's grandparents: their house in Long Island.Lily and Marshall decided to sell it for one simple reason.
It's Long Island.I don't want to spend my Saturday in Long Island.
I know, babe, but the realtor staged the place with fake furniture and she wants us to check it out before the open house.
stage ’iŠK•ª‚¯‚·‚é
All right.Can we at least do it on the fake bed?
I'm embarrassed that you have to ask.
So, they headed out to Long Island, and when they walked in the door
We'll take it!
We-We can't take it.We're the ones selling it.We are selling it, right?
Baby, your grandparents gave you this house outright.So, the way I see it, we have five options.One: sell it.Two: year-round haunted house.Three: giant fence around the perimeter, chimp sanctuary.There's already a tire swing in the backyard.Four: we destroy it with sledgehammers.I like four.
outright –³ðŒ‚É the way I see it Ž„‚ªŽv‚¤‚É
Or five: we move in, raise our children and make this our family home.
Till they graduate.Then we destroy it with sledgehammers.As a family.
No, this is crazy! We are New York people.We have a big, beautiful apartment that we love.
You're right.
But something happened to Lily and Marshall that day.Something that happens to all New Yorkers who return home from anywhere other than New York.Their big, lovely apartment
Huh.That's weird.
Shrunk.
shrink k‚ß‚é
Okay, after Thanksgiving, I'm cutting out carbs.
cut out the carbs ’Y…‰»•¨‚ð’f‚Â
Now, kids, it had been a rough couple weeks for Barney.First, he cheated on his girlfriend with Robin, then he broke up with his girlfriend for Robin, then Robin chose Kevin over him.So he was kind of in a bad place.
Hey.You all right?
Why wouldn't I be all right? Barney's single again! It's what America's been clamoring for.
clamoring ‘å‘›‚¬‚·‚é
You just went through a break-up.That's usually when people do something crazy.If you were a girl, you'd have cut bangs and be dating you by now.Just promise me you won't do something crazy.
bangs ؂艺‚°‘O”¯
I promise I won't do something crazy.
Don't worry, he's gonna do something crazy.
In fact, I think I'm done with girls.I'm not sure I even like them anymore.
Based on all the stuff you've done to them over the years, I'm not sure you ever liked them.
I'm serious.
Come on, you love girls.If anyone should be done with girls, it's me.Look at the year I've had.Zoey, Victoria, the Slutty Pumpkin.
Now I'm worried you're gonna do something crazy.
I'm not gonna do something crazy.
And yes, I'm gonna do something crazy, too.
But girls, man.Girls.
You know what would kick ass?
Being gay?
Being gay would kick ass!
Word.Guys understand each other.
Imagine a relationship where, instead of talking about feelings all the time, you just play some Madden, eat a pizza, give each other a happy, roll over and have some cuddle-free shut-eye.
Bro, for what it's worth, if we were both gay, you'd be my first call.
Would you mind calling Marshall and telling him that? 'Cause he thinks
No, this is only in a scenario where just you and I are gay, not Marshall.
But if all three of us were gay, you'd pick me over Marshall, right?
If all three of us were gay? Girlfriend, we would all three of us have some fun.
Damn right we would.
We're not gay.
Nope.Stuck with girls.I wish men could have children on their own, like sea horses.
Stuck with s‚«‹l‚é
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
They have a little pouch.They should be called sea kangaroos.
No, y-you want kids?
Maybe I've kind of lately been thinking about the whole wife and kids thing.Just minus the wife.
You could always go it alone.Like Mr.Drummond on Diff'rent Strokes.
Yeah, but that was the '80s, when you could just swing by any inner-city playground in your limo and scoop up some kids.
Mmm.Simpler times.
Hmm.
I guess it's better to have someone in it with you anyway, you know? Lifetime partnership.
The only partnership in my life that has stood the test of time is this one.The sacred bond of man and bro.
Maybe we should start a family together.
Are you kidding? This place is huge.I mean, look, I can dance all crazy in here.Oh!
Sh Listen, um, Robin, are you okay with us all doing Thanksgiving out in East Meadow?
Uh, yeah, I guess that'd be nice.
Oh, great! And then after Thanksgiving, Lily and I were thinking that we would just stay at the house until, you know we die.
What? No! You can't move to Long Island!
But this house is so nice.It's big, and it's clean, and if there's cockroaches, they respect us enough to sneak around.
Listen to yourself.This is Pregnancy Brain all over again.
No, I'm done with Pregnancy Brain.I've moved on to weird pregnancy sex dreams.Officer.You know.You know.
I'm-I'm just saying, you're not in the right mind to be making this decision right now.
You know what? Robin's right.We are in no state of mind to make this kind of decision.
in no state of mind to ‚·‚邿‚¤‚È‹C•ª‚ł͂Ȃ¢
Thank you.And now you're stepping off the crazy bus.
We let the universe decide.
And now you're back on board.
You hear that, Universe? If you send us a sign in the next to Long Island! Okay? Go.
Hey, guys, for the last time, this place is enormous-Oh! Geez, how many lamps do you have?
It's genius! Instead of throwing away your life marrying some girl, you just go splitsies on a kid with your best bro!
I wouldn't have to choose between dating and having a family.Hell, I could bring the kids on dates!
And a broken home? Um, what's that? Our kids will never know, 'cause we're never gonna split up!
Why would we? I mean, sure, when your wife walks in on you banging a hot flight attendant, you get a divorce.But when your bro-parent walks in on you banging a hot flight attendant
You get five of these bad boys, right up high!
And you totally join in, right?! Oh, no, there's the line.
That's the line.We found the line.It's good we know where it is.
Hey, guys.
Hey!
Hey.
We have an announcement.
So what you're saying is, if you're meant to move to Long Island, some sign from the universe will magically appear at your doorstep?
Now, kids, I don't think there was a knock on the door at that exact moment, but for the purposes of this story
Hi, I'm Clive.I live upstairs from you.Is this your sign?
I don't know, Clive.Is it?
Oh, did we leave that outside? Yeah, we're selling our house in Long Island.
Oh.Too bad you're not selling this place.I'd love to turn mine into a duplex.And I'd give you a really good price for it, because I am so rich.
He did not say that.
His shoes did.
shoes —§ê
Okay, the point is, we got the sign.We're moving to East Meadow.
Let's get some champagne.
And just like that, Lily and Marshall were beginning a new chapter in their lives.Which meant only one thing for us