ハイライトは"I just started a new job, and dating's been on the back burner"

Narator: Kids, sometimes wonderful things come out of horrible situations. Like, remember that trip I took to Hong Kong where I got stuck in the airport? Well, a funny thing happened that day.

Ted: Yes, I realize it's raining, but, come on, it's 2021. We can make cell phones that project holograms, but a light drizzle shuts down a whole airport?

light drizzle 小雨

Wendy: Hey, Ted.

Ted: Hey... There she is. Wow.

Wendy: Wendy the Waitress.

Ted: Wendy the Waitress! I was just saying-- what are you doing here?

Narator: What was she doing there? For that, we have to back up about ten years.

Robin: So, Barney, I hear you and Nora had a fun time at laser tag.

Barney: I don't know where you heard that. It was a disaster.

Robin: Not according to her.

Nora: Oh, my God, this was so much fun. We have to do this again. We do, we have to.

Barney: You want to grab a drink right now?

Nora: No, I'm kind of tired. But... this is my number. Give me a call.

Barney: Absolutely.

Robin: How is that a disaster?

Barney: She didn't want to get drinks. And as soon as a girl says she doesn't want to get drinks, well...

Barney: You want to grab a drink right now?

Nora: No, I'm kind of tired.

Barney: Absolutely.

Barney: It's a shame, too. She was a really great laser tag partner. She's tiny, so she's allowed to push kids.

Robin: Please, Cheese. You like this girl.

Barney: What? Nora? No, I don't.

Robin: Barney, you can't say her name without smiling.

Barney: That's... Nora. Sorry, sorry. I was thinking of a funny thing that Nora said. Hmm. Stop it. No... ra. Nah... Damn it, what is the matter with me?

Robin: You like her. You should call her.

Barney: Call her? Robin, three things. She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don't chase.

Lily: That is ridiculous. Barney, you know what, here's some advice.

Barney: Totally.

Narator: Kids, I had just started dating Zoey. And when you first start dating someone, everyone wants to know the same thing.

Ted: How did we meet?

Woman: Oh, Ted, she doesn't want...

Ted: No, it's a cute story. Once upon a time...

Ted: Zoey was married to this super rich, super creepy guy called The Captain. So when Zoey and I became friends, I was careful not to cross any lines.

Zoey: Oh, man, this movie is scary.

Ted: I know, right?

Ted: But then one day, Zoey and The Captain had a huge fight. He flipped out and demanded a divorce. And she was heartbroken. But after a little soul-searching, she ended up back in my and the rest, as they say, is history.

flip out キレる soul-searching 反省

Woman: Actually, I said, "How's your meat?"

Ted: Oh. A little cold.

Woman: Gee, wonder why.

Zoey: Oh, Ted, did you have a chance to pick up that box I left at my old apartment?

Ted: Oh. Yeah, I don't want to see The Captain. I mean this in a super manly way. That guy scares the panties off me.

Zoey: You don't have to see him. He left the box with the doorman.

Ted: If it's really important to you, I will pick it up tomorrow.

Marshall: All right, guys, I have to go. I have a big meaningless stack of paperwork that I have to get off my desk to make room for tomorrow's big meaningless stack of paperwork. But it's all worth it, you know, 'cause at least I know I'm making the world a... place. All right, see you guys later.

Ted: I'm worried about Marshall. He doesn't seem like himself lately.

Lily: Yeah, he's been really... quiet.

Robin: Well, that's just what Minnesota guys are like... strong, silent, you know, man's man.

Barney: Like Prince.

Lily: No, it's more than that. It's like, all the stuff he used to love, he suddenly has no interest in anymore.

Barney: Oh. Ha-wink

Lily: Excuse me?

Barney: Lily, in my travels, I've developed a finely calibrated sense of how long it's been since... How do I not put this delicately?... a girl's been porked. And, boo, you've been pork-free so long, you're practically kosher.

Lily: It's been a while.

Barney: Five weeks, three days by my estimation.

Lily: You should work at a carnival.

Barney: I tried. They're pretty strict with backgrounds.

strict with 厳しくする

Ted: Anyway, we should get going.

Lily: Yeah, I'll walk out with you guys.

Robin: Good night. Good night, guys.

Barney: 18 weeks.

Robin: Damn it. Okay, yes, I am in a bit of a dry spell. But I just started a new job, and dating's been on the back burner, and...

on the back burner 後回し

Barney: Shh. Child, listen. If you're really hurting for it, I'd be more than happy to throw you one.

Robin: Throw me one?

Barney: Yeah.We're exes. We're probably due for a backslide. Or we could just do it the normal way.

backslide 堕落 due for にまっすぐ向かう

Robin: Oh, I see what's going on.

Barney: Yeah?

Robin: This is about Nora. You met a girl, you liked her, but then you missed your shot. And now you're trying to hook up with your ex-girlfriend to prove to yourself that you don't care.

Barney: Robin, you could not be more... What do you mean I missed my shot?

Robin: Nora met a guy.

Barney: What?!What?

Robin: Yep. Off the market. He's taking her to Cafe L'Amour this Friday night.

Barney: But "L'Amour" means love! They're going to the cafe of love! I'm fine. It's fine. Point is, Robin, I don't even like Nora. Damn it!

Lily: Oh, baby, why aren't you in bed?

Marshall: I can't sleep.

Lily: Mmm. Anything I can do to help you with that?

Marshall: Maybe after this documentary on garbage.

Lily: Man, I am losing my touch.

lose one's touch 腕が鈍る

Tv: Nearly twice the size of Texas, the Gweat Pacific Garbage Patch, or "Garbage Island," is an enviwonmental catastrophe. Lost in a sea of rubbish, this young bird struggles to survive, strangling in the plastic wings of a six-pack. Marshall Eriksen, I think you know what you have to do.

Marshall: I have to save the planet!

Lily: Is it over? I call on top.

Narator: A few days later, I headed over to The Captain's building to get Zoey's box.

Ted: I'm here to...

Captain: Ted. What a surprise. Ted.

Ted: Captain. I...

Captain:You've come to rescue me from the capsized wreckage of my marriage. Mm... I hesitated calling you because I know you and Zoey were friendly.

Ted: Pssh, nah...

Captain:But my wife has left me. All my friends have abandoned me. Please, tell me you're on my side. Let's adjourn to the study.

adjourn 中断する