ハイライトは"I'll never make it back in time now."

Marshall: Wow. A lot of these girls are young enough to be our daughters.

Barney: I know. Daddy's home. And Granddaddy's home! Tonight rocks so hard!

Jerry: I might be allergic to this stamp.

Robin: Oh, my God, my secret crush is here.

secret crush ひそかに好きな相手

Lily: Mila Kunis?!

Robin: No, my secret crush. We met a few years ago.

Man: Hi. I could use a woman's opinion. Is this working for me?

Robin: Uh... no. The only good thing about how ugly that shirt is, is that it distracts from how terribly it fits you.

Man: I was trying on the pants.

Robin: Oh.

Robin: I had to leave before we could finish talking, so that was it. You know, ever since then, I've always... Oh, my God, he's coming over here. Oh. Hello.

Man: Hi. A few years ago at a department store... did you embarrass the hell out of me?

Robin: Oh, I'm sorry, you must have me confused with the shirt you were wearing that day.

Man: I should be so lucky.

Ted: Hi! I'm Ted! Robin's boyfriend! Nice to meet you.

Man: Right. Um... it was really nice to see you again.

Robin: Mm-hmm. You, too.

Man: Yeah.

Ted: You owe me one.

Barney: Man, isn't this place great?

Jerry: Uh, I don't know. It's so loud!

Marshall: And so bourgeois. Many of plays are about the bourgeois. And ennui. And one rock opera about... a frozen yogurt shop.

bourgeois ブルジョア

Barney: Uh, L-Lily, uh, talk about your open marriage.

Lily: Okay. Well, after a long day of style meetings and photo shoots and being way too mean to my assistant, I sometimes bang an underwear model.

Jerry: My goodness!

Marshall: I sleep around, too. Just as much. A little more, even.

Lily: Oh, uh, only 'cause you have nothing to do all day.

Marshall: Are we having this fight again? Writing plays is a real job!

Lily: I work 90 hours a week subsidizing your "real job."

subsidize 支援する

Marshall: I won a Tony!

Lily: I brought French cooking to America!

Marshall: What?

Barney: Let's do shots.

Jerry: Uh, no, thank you, Barney. I have that fishing trip with J.J. early tomorrow. I... I better take it easy.

Barney: No. Don't you remember what you said to me when I was a kid? "Never stop partying."

Jerry: I said that? To a six-year-old? I don't remember that.

Barney: You don't remember the last thing you said to me when I was a kid? Well... you know, why don't you just go back home?

Jerry: But I want to hang out with you.

Barney: Yeah, well, I want to hang out with Crazy Jerry, not Stay-at-Home Jerome.

Jerry: Fine. You want Crazy Jerry? There! You got him! I apologize... it might take a few minutes to kick in.

kick in 効力を発する

All: Oh...

Jerry: Hey, sugar! Five beers for the table, a Seven-and-Seven for me, and your ten digits for this guy here! Tonight Crazy Jerry's gonna burn this disco down! Whoo! Wa-hah!

Barney: Can you believe it? This is awesome!

Robin: Barney, how is that awesome?

Barney: I finally know what it's like to be embarrassed by my dad.

Marshall: So you really believe that if we were in an open marriage that you would do better than me?

Lily: Hey, you do better than me at a lot of other things, like digesting dairy... and reaching for stuff.

Marhsall: Okay, you know what? Game on. If I can score five numbers before you can, then we have sex in the bathroom. But... if you can score five numbers before me, then we have sex in the bathroom.

Lily: So our usual wager. Deal.

wager 賭け

Barney: Hey, uh, hey, Jerry, y... you really want to be out here like this?

Jerry: Oh, sorry, small-town preacher from the Midwest, is there a law against dancing?

Barney: No, of course not. I... I just...

Jerry: Oh, this club blows. Let's hit the greatest party in the world, the streets of New York!

Barney: Yeah! Let's do it! Uh, maybe fix the tie. But mostly, party!

Robin: Okay, Jerry's gone; Let's break up.

Ted: Okay. "I would have stolen you a whole orchestra." There. What's the rush?

Robin: Well, that guy who came over here who thinks we're dating, I kind of have a crush on him. Can you help me clear it up?

Ted: Really? That guy? He was, like, a four.

Robin: A four? God, you are, like, the worst judge of guys ever. Okay, if he is a four, what are you?

Ted: Hey! I'm not perfect; I'm an eight... and a half.

Robin: You're a doofus and a half.

doofus ばか

Ted: Fine. Let's go talk to him. Where'd you meet this booger-eater anyway?

Robin: At a close-out sale at Dawes.

Ted: Really? I remember that sale.

Ted: Hey, Robin.

Robin: Oh, Ted. Oh, no.

Ted: Look what I just bought. Right? Right?

Ted: Hold on. We were dating then. I specifically remember, because we had great sex that night. Great sex.

Ted: Let me guess. Someone wants to knock... boots. Boots.

Robin: Just take off your damn shirt. Okay.

Ted: All right.

Robin: All right. Whoa, stop.

Ted: What?

Robin: Stop. Perfect.

Ted: But I... I can't see, and you can't see me.

Robin: Yeah. Yeah, just like that.

Ted: You were picturing your crush!

Robin: Well, somebody had to.

Ted: Okay, okay, answer me this. Are you absolutely sure it had nothing whatsoever... to do with the boots?

Robin: Yes.

Ted: You hear that, everybody? She said "yes"! We're getting married! I love this girl. I'm never letting her go.

Jerry: Hey... Bottoms up, amigo!

Narator: After that, Barney's memory of the night got a little hazy.

Jerry: You want to fight me? Well, I'll fight you, dummy!

Barney: You don't even know!

Jerry: Hey, hey! There we go! Oh, look what I just ripped out of the ground!

Barney: Oh...!

Jerry: I just puked on the hood of that... police car!

Jerry: Too bad your playwright friend isn't a lawyer. Barney, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid this is what it's like hanging out with Crazy Jerry.

Barney: It's okay, Dad. I never thought tonight would be so awesome! So... next stop, strip club. The Lusty Leopard has a special...

Jerry: Oh, for corn's sake, Barney, I'm not drunk!

Barney: What?

Jerry: I told you, I don't party anymore, and you wouldn't take no for an answer. So... I used a little... sleight-of-hand... to make you think otherwise.

Jerry: Here you go.

Barney: Whoa!

Jerry: Bottoms up, amigo!

Barney: But all those crazy things you did.

Jerry: Do you happen to remember what a magician's best friend is?

Barney: A drunk audience.

Jerry: You want to fight me? Well, I'll fight you, dummy!

Barney: No, no, no.

Barney: You don't even know! Right here!Look.

Jerry: Look what I just ripped out of the ground!

Barney: Oh...!

Barney: What just happened?

Jerry: I... I just puked on the hood of that... ...police car.

Barney: Well, why do all those things?

Jerry: I figured if I showed you what... "never stop partying" really looked like, you'd realize you can't do it forever. Oh, well.

Barney: You lied to me all night for your own selfish reasons? Daddy...!

Jerry: I wanted to hang out with you... you're my son. And since you didn't want to come with me and J.J. On that fishing tri... Fishing trip. I'll never make it back in time now.

Barney: Hey, you know, a... a pretty good magician like you probably knows how to, say, get out of a standard set of handcuffs.

Jerry: Perhaps.

Barney: Well, here's something you didn't know... I'm a pretty good magician, too.