ƒnƒCƒ‰ƒCƒg‚Í"our point totals would be about neck and neck, but there's one thing you're forgetting."



How I met your mother ƒV[ƒYƒ“7yŒ´‘čzNow We're Even

I had no idea that food could be this delicious.

Marshall, you are being crazy.

No, no, I can handle it.If I sell my laptop, we can get seconds on those squash blossoms.

I mean about Lily.

Well, you know, she's being crazy, too.

She's pregnant.She gets to be crazy.You have to be the sane one.

sane ł‹C‚Ě

So what, I don't get to be crazy again until the baby comes?

No.Then it's baby's turn to be crazy.

When do I get to be crazy again?


We are totally even.

We absolutely are not even, and here's why.I'll grant you that if you include the 12 points for designing the skyscraper, the 83 points for slapping five with Tommy Lee and the 9,000 points for banging Robin before me, our point totals would be about neck and neck, but there's one thing you're forgetting.

neck and neck Úí

The fact that I don't care?

No.And you just lost five points for sass.Do you remember a conversation we had about three years ago?

sass śˆÓ‹C

Barney, you're the king.Nobody picks up chicks like you.You're handsome, debonair, everything I wish I could be.

debonair —ç‹Vł‚ľ‚˘

I'm starting to think this never happened.

Let you finish.

You're smooth, charismatic, sauve.

smooth ă•i charismatic ƒJƒŠƒXƒ}“I

I think you mean suave.

suave ‰ˇŒú‚Č

Aha.So you do remember.

But there's one thing even a master ladies' man like you could never do, and if you could ever do it, it would be worth 500 points.

You have my attention, my slightly shorter friend.

Here's the challenge.Get a girl's phone number while you're wearing a dress.


Accomplished.That's right.Last year, I slapped on a dress, took a few laps around this very bar, and I got this: the phone number of one Stephanie McColgan.Later that night, I took off my pantyhose, and gave her panties my hose.That's right, Ted.I am 500 points ahead.Until you can get a girl's digits while wearing a dress, you and I will never be even.

Accomplish ‹s‚ˇ‚é slap on ‘f‘‚­’…‚é

You know what? The super's probably waiting for me, and I just remembered there's a spare key under the doormat, so good night.

Wait, wait.Ted, don't go.

Barney, I am leaving.I'm afraid this is just one of those nights we're probably going to forget.

I don't think so, dude.Look.

If you're just joining us, the World Wide News Eye in the Sky traffic chopper is out of control over Manhattan and being piloted by our own Robin Scherbatsky.This probably won't end well.

Kids, every now and then, New York has a moment when every eye in the city is watching the same thing.This was one of those moments.We all watched breathlessly as the pilot on the ground told her what to do, and against all odds, your Aunt Robin landed that helicopter.

I did it.I did it!

The pilot survived and made a full recovery.And Robin?

It's Robin Scherbatsky, everybody!

Thank you so much.Oh, okay

Robin got famous.In the next few days, she would meet the mayor, go on Letterman and even have a deli sandwich named after her.But most importantly, that night, she got a call, text or e-mail from almost everyone she'd ever met.

Hey, Marshall.

Hey, Lil.

Hey, Barney.Yes, I know you're dating a stripper.Mm-hmm.

Hey, Dad.You proud of your little girl? Okay, I'll keep trying.

Babe, I think I know why you had that sex dream about Ranjit.


Think about it.The way he talks about his kids.He's a wonderful father.Just like Papa Smurf, Bill Cosby George Washington, the father of our country.You're attracted to great dads.And that's why you love me.Because I'm going to be the greatest dad ever.

Sure, that must be it.

Lily decided not to tell Marshall about her dream involving Frankenstein and the tea cup from Beauty and the Beast.That one was just for her.

Okay, Barney, I got to go.

What? In the middle of "The Night You Got Locked Out in Your Pajamas and Robin Landed a Freaking Helicopter and There's Still Time to Reunite Genesis?"

Dude, you got your wish.It's a night we'll always remember.Why can't we just go home?

I can't go home, Ted.

Why not?

Because I'm dating a stripper.

Yes, I've seen your bus ad.I get it.

No, you don't.Every night, between 9:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m., I'm in hell.All I can think about is what Quinn is doing and where she is doing it and who she is doing it on.If I don't do something to take my mind off of it You're lucky that you can just go sit around the house, Ted.I don't have that option.

Wow.You're in love with this girl.

I really am, Ted.I mean she's a stripper.

Later that night The next night, all I wanted to do was enjoy a night at home.But there was something I had to do.

It wasn't easy, but by God, after a long night of trying

Okay.Now we're even.Scoreboard.

More than a legendary night we'd remember forever, Uncle Barney needed a bro to help him forget.In this case, a bro in a dress.

I'm proud of you.Are you wearing perfume?

It's a unisex fragrance.It was in Details.

It's nice.

It's perfume.



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